For that few hours I was the same 8 year old girl again (:

I haven't had so much fun in suchhhhh a long time, maybe it's just because today Powerhouse just celebrated Childrens' Day, but who cares, all I know is that I've enjoyed myself throughly.

It was nice catching up with some of the people I haven't spoken to in so long (thank you Gary for the lunch treat, but no thanks for taking away my Happy Meal toy), & not forgetting being the usual photowhores together with Isa, Steph, & Tabbi.

& Stacy is a currently a very happy girl because this morning I took a random paper from Tabbi & guess what the paper read:

"The Joshua Generation is organizing a 2D1N stay at Aloha Loyang from 17th Oct to 18th Oct"

HAH WHICH MEANS THAT I WON'T BE MISSING OUT THE FUN AFTERALL!

No thanks to Korkor, who gave me the wrong information & made me upset for nothing.

Photobucket and Youtube are being such sluts, I don't know why but the darn page just wouldn't load, which means that you people will have to wait for at least a week for the pictures & videos to be up.

5 more days to the EOYs, & right now I can really feel the tension in the air, this is the final lap & I know I've got to give it my best shot, & very soon I'll be having fun & enjoying my well deserved break.

Sunshine said that nobody in this world deserves me giving my all.

I know You're there & You'll see me through.

Extremely bitchy post ahead.
Readers' discretion is advised.

I'm confident, I've got the guts, I've got the brains, & I've got the backbone, & to put it in a much simpler way, I've got just what it takes & more.
You may call this being over-confident but at this point I don't think that there's anything for me to be afraid of.

I'm not saying that my life is absolutely flawless, they say at 15 I'm moving way past the speed limit, & it's true, I've collided so many times, but damn, that's WAAYYYY better that being some 17 year old who obviously thinks too highly of herself, acts like a damned adolescent kid & poses for pictures with a V sign.

& at least I'm not like somebody who thinks that it's perfectly fine to snatch someone else's boyfriend, & that it's only a matter of whether you've got what it takes to do so, & succeed.

What, exactly is this world coming to.

I am not saying that you'll get thrown into hell & burn in the river of fire for eternity if you snatch someone else's boyfriend, but of course neither am I supporting the idea of snatching a boyfriend from some poor girl,

BUT IT'S COMMON SENSE FOR SOMEONE WHO ALREADY HAS A BOYFRIEND TO STAY AWAY, INSTEAD OF PURPOSELY TRYING TO SUCK UP TO ANOTHER BOY WHO ALREADY, HAS A GIRLFRIEND.

No, don't worry, it's oh-kay, I don't blame you for not catching it.
I understand with that dimunitive brain of yours, it's nothing but expected to see a question mark on your face after you finish reading that sentence.

Every single time you pop up in my mind I think I puke a little in my mouth (figure of speech please -.-), without fail.
It doesn't mean that by, "showing what you've got", the other party would fall head over heels in love with you.

Dang, what the hell was wrong with me, I can't believe that I was once, friends with people like you.

I'm usually not this mean but like what others would probably say if they knew the full & complete story, "please take a good look of yourself in the mirror".

Like, hello?
I hate to burst your bubble but I really don't think that this world revolves around you, & you alone.

HAH.

Oh, I never knew that you're pretty, I mean, I never even knew that you'd think SO highly of yourself to even think that you've got a pretty face, *cough* I hate to burst your bubble again but *cough* I really think that I'm literally shining, especially when I picture myself beside you.

Huh, what did you say?
Uh, you think that I'm a bitch & you hate me?

Oh boohoo, people hate me!
Please pass me the tissue because I'm just about to drown the whole world with my tears, boohoohoo.

Please go to hell if you think that I give a damn.

Because you know what, crazy-sluts-who-thinks-too-highly-of-themselves, I don't think I love you very much either.

You people should stop living in your fairytale & come back down to Earth.
Sure, fairytales often say that Prince Charming & Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Snow White live happily ever after, but are you 100% sure that's how it is?
I don't even think the term, "happily ever after", can be used in anyone's life, because I'm sure none of you can promise that life would be perfect, & smooth sailing.

For all you know Prince Charming could've jolly well ditched Cinderella & run off with someone else, the evil fairy could've cast another spell on Sleeping Beauty, make her sleep for another million years, & when she finally wakes up she realises that her Prince Charming is dead & is nothing but a set of skeleton, & Snow White could've stupidly plucked an apple from some tree that the evil stepmother had cursed, & fall down dead after eating it.

Or maybe the author was just plain lazy to continue with the stories & write about all the conflicts & circumstances that the characters face, so he simply ended them with a "happily ever after".

If you think that whatever you hold in your hands now would last forever, & I mean, FOREVER, think again.

Oh wait, before I forget.

Hello, let me introduce myself.
My name is Stacy & other than my own name I don't think I've mentioned any other names in this post so go ahead & sue me.

(& don't you tell me about the names of the Disney characters I've used, I obviously know that terms like Cinderella & Snow White are names, but I'd LOVE to see them bring me to court.)

They like the way we play the game,

Oh God I feel so loved.
The things He'll do for me (:

My weight has been going yo-yo & it's seriouslyyyyy starting to freak me out.

Just a mere 4 hours ago I thought my fringe was getting rather irritating, & NOW I'm not used to the bangs.
I had to literally drag my feet, & I only got out of the house because Korkor said he'll meet me.

(& to be honest he's really not nice enough to go all the way to AMK from his place just to meet me, it's only because he's going to Glen's place for dinner -.-)

I feel so guilty for ditching Fiona today, I'm so sorry & I promise I'll accompany you down to AMK too, when you have the time, hahah.

It just dawned on me that it'll be Childrens' Day tomorrow & right now I feel really old /:
Tomorrow, nothing, not even my Chemistry homework that's still undone, will keep me from enjoying myself, & reliving my childhood days with the Powerhouse kids (:

I'm still very upset over the fact that I'll be missing out all the fun on the 16th & 17th.
I was supposed to take my final paper on the 16th, but damn the so called, "holiday" that my oh-so-wonderful-&-thoughtful school has given on the 15th, which means that I'll be taking my final paper on the 17th instead of the 16th which ALSO means that I won't be able to make it to the chalet on the 16th.

Oh-kay all of that sounded so funny with the dates but damn that rubbish, I'm too upset to care.

Gary had better get his ass to church tomorow, I've been waiting for my lunch treat for 2 darn weeks already & helllll no, I don't care if there's a heavy downpour & he gets himself drenched from head to toe.

Come to think of it, there's really no point in making such a big hoo-hah, because if he doesn't show himself all I have to do is just to get someone else to help me with my Chemistry & keep his favourite lollipop for myself, hahah.

STACY SHALL BE ON TIME FOR SERVICE TOMORROW.

Love's, not how it used to be
& the passion that made me strong,
Is clearly breaking me

Another week just zoomed by me &, TGIF.
I had a wonderful night (:

On MF's night I was watching the kids with their lanterns & doing the things that I did when I was younger.
Much younger.

It seemed like I was 5 years old a million years ago.
Of course, I do enjoy watching those little darlings play, confidently holding the world in their hands with that innocence of theirs, & they're really adorable, I promise.

When you were young, have you ever wondered what your life would be like when you were 15?
I would've never been able to picture my life the way it is now.
A couple of years definitely mean & can change, alot.

Now I wonder what my life would be like when I'm 25.

This whole week has been pretty hectic, with my EOYs coming in just 6 days, & sometimes I really feel like washing my hands off everything but I know that would be so irresponsible of me.

& Mummy is pretty much against the idea of me going overseas after my O's, saying that she doesn't want me out there in a foreign country alone, but HAH eventually she said that if I really want to, she won't insist on me staying here & that she, of course, wants me to have a good education.

Talk about every parent wanting the best for their kids.

Then after that Mummy said that if I ever get a hot Caucasian boyfriend, I have to bring him back to Singapore during my breaks.

-.-

She's crazy, I promise, my EOYs aren't even here and she's already talking about things that are supposed to happen in about a few years' time.

I think I really need to learn how to unwind & give myself a little more time.
Otherwise I'm afraid I'll break down all over again.

I've been put on this guilt trip for so long, it's really time I got off it, but there's no other way to get out unless I jump, & I really don't know if I should do so because I am afraid that once I get off it I'll just keep falling, & falling, into this bottomless pit.

No one's blaming me, I don't have an idea as to why I'm actually blaming myself.

Damn.

I scream, you shout, you're my favourite enemy

I wanna hurt you, like you're hurting me

Up down, your words, come with more intensity

This heartache, won't go away

"We can't deny you're one tough fairy. But do you know what's the first thing we notice when we look at you?"

My ass, I thought.

"The pain in your eyes."

There is so much to let out but I don't know how to.
I am exhausted but I know I can't afford to take a break.

Service today was a wake-up call.
I think I ought to return back to JG.
It felt good being around the people that I know so well, & can fully trust in.

I didn't realise how much I had missed all the Powerhouse kids.
I promise I had such a great time living up to the greeeeeeen shirt I was wearing today, which had the words, "I ♥ Dancing".

Went to Starbucks with Edmund after Powerhouse (& after we heard Shannon talk about her boyfriend(S) HAHAHAHAH), & I was talking to him about how I don't see myself living in Singapore for the rest of my life.

It's true, I really don't.
I am not saying that this isn't a nice place, & neither am I saying that I'm not proud to be a Singaporean, but it's just that this place has brought me too much pain.
The happiness & joy that I experience here always only seem to last a moment.
Before you even have the chance to really cherish & learn to treasure it, it's gone.

I don't think this is an ideal place to raise my kids, I don't want them to be like me, they ought to have more things to cry about other than studies or, a boyfriend who broke their heart.
Sure, I'd really love to say that "I'll hang on, I'll make it through", but nobody seems to understand that it's really difficult staying in a place where you have to constantly breathe in such disappointment.
For now, I can see myself here, but I think sooner or later I'll be on a plane to somewhere.
I'm thinking of Australia, where I'll be able to pursue Arts, or maybe Canada, but a part of me is saying that it really doesn't matter, anywhere if fine, just as long as it's far, far away from here.

I know all of that sounded so selfish & ungrateful, it seems like I'm taking all the people who genuinely care & what they've done for me for granted.
It seems like all I'm thinking of is me, myself, & I.
It seems like I'm backing out, I'm running away.
But like what Gary said, sometimes you have to be more self-centered so as to spare yourself from unecessary heartbreaks.

If I do well enough for the big O's next year, then it'll be goodbye Singapore & I'll have the next 10 years of my life planned out.

Korkor says it's good that I'm being ambitious.
Well, I think I'm just beginning to realise what is, "Dare to Dream".

But enough about that, the more I talk about it, the more I'll dwell on the subject.

Maybe I should talk about something happier.

I was talking to Edmund about how he, John Ng, & I used to share a cab to like, anywhere & everywhere, & I when I say anywhere & everywhere, I seriously meant, ANYWHERE & EVERYWHERE.
I promise I had such a good laugh because I was suddenly reminded of the time when the 3 of us were in TCC, & the irritating John Ng was talking to Edmund in some, alien language with funny codes, or so it seemed to me.

But that was like, more than a year ago, when I was still in my Secondary 2 days?
Gawd, now they seem so far away.
One day we really ought to get together again & chit-chat over a cup of coffee, it doesn't really matter if I just sit there & listen to them bicker, anyway I haven't been using my brain to break their codes in suchhhhhh a long time, hahah.

I was thinking alot on the way back home.
Edmund kept telling me to take it slow, but I blasted at him saying that I've got no time.
It's high time I rearranged everything & put what should be first in my life, First.

On a lighter note, Tabbi & I were talking about the prank calls over MSN just now, & hahah guess what she suddenly said,

t.a.b.b.i- indescribable; says:
i assure youre gonna laugh when you hear this
t.a.b.b.i- indescribable; says:
"korkor alaster... wake up go toilet!!!!!!" LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

At that very moment I literally went, ROFLMAO.
I had totally forgotten about that time when I was staying over at Tabbi's & in the middle of the night we had nothing to do, so we decided to prank call Alaster & I TRIED to talk like Victoria, & I was SO close to success, but gave myself away at the last minute because I burst out laughing.

Hahahah the good ol' times.

The clock says 1.14 AM.
If Korkor returns from his Manchester United vs Chelsea soccer match & sees that I'm still here, I'm screwed.

OH SHIT SPEAK OF THE DEVIL!

Toodles darlings!

Three days ago, Darren told me that I should be careful of who I trust.

This is crazy, I have no idea how I made it through this week, there's too many misunderstandings, & I. Don't. Even. Have. A. Clue. As. To. What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On.

What's more, the whole damned world knew about it & they actually kept me in the dark.

That includes the ones whom I thought I could trust, & confide in the most.

The people whom I trusted in, left me there alone to drown in my pain.
No one stepped out to stab me, & to give me the final blow.

Did you people think that I'll be too weak to deal with it?
Did you people think that I'll break down & cry, all over again?

Sure, I'll be down, I'll cry, but that doesn't mean that I've got to be down in the pits for like, eternity.

You people know I'll eventually pick myself up, & that I'm much stronger than that.

Why, does it thrills you to see me in pain, did all of you want to see me hurt again, that's why you're waiting for me to recover before you stab me?

Darren hit bulls-eye.
The only thing was that, his warning came too late.

I don't know if I should laugh, or to cry.
I'm the one who got hurt, I'm the one who cried, yet now, I've got the backbone, you're the one who refuse to face me & look me straight, eye to eye.
I'm not avoiding, neither am I running away, so why should you?

& one last thing.
Velvetkisses says she wants to be back in the team.

Damn it, I think I've got to shut her out.
Otherwise, I don't know.

I understand that there are some problems
Am I not too blind to know?
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
& you can put the blame on me

It's only Monday, & already, I'm drained of all my energy.
I haven't felt so tired, mentally, emotionally, & physically, for so long.

So much have been going on, I really wonder if I'll be able to deal.
It's ironic, how I've always been so sure that I'll be able to take whatever life throws at me, but now I'm defeated, & all alone.

I promise I felt really really mad at what had happened today, no matter how hard I try, I can never tolerate seeing my friends & the people that I care about stuck in that kind of situation & if it wasn't for Fiona, I would've done something reckless with the umbrella (ella ella, eh eh eh) I had snatched from, you know who you are.

& look at what Gabby said,

life is so boring .................i love u says:
heng ______ 2day not there
life is so boring .................i love u says:
or not got show watch already
life is so boring .................i love u says:
girl with umbrella vs boys

Ahem, had to censor off my reply & some name, y'know /:

& ZhenHao must've been really mad just now, because he roared at me $#%&;!?^@!!!!!!!
No, I'm not exaggerating it AT ALL & yes he Roared.

Right now, I'm just sort of relieved that everything on their side seems to be ok...
(I'm starting to lie to myself, damn Gabby!)

& as though all of that wasn't enough, today I had to even chase off some really, annoying assholes.

I've been putting up with all these nonsense from you for quite some time now, & I'm sure that you know.
I don't need you to take all of my problems into your hands, & from the very beginning I thought I had made myself very clear that since all of this had started from me, I'll take matters in my own hands.
Untill now I still don't see why you had to interfere, & sure, I may not have a single clue on how I'll cope, but all that you've done made things really difficult for me.
I know you care & that you're trying to help, but you know, I really won't mind clearing up the misunderstanding with, whoever, just on my own.
Plenty has been going on, so much that it's really starting to exhaust me, but all I'm asking for, is for you to leave, my friends, alone.

You know who you are, & believe me, the next time round, I may not even consider the fact that we've been friends for so long.

Today, I finally found the courage to talk about what had happened in the past with Fiona, & I promise just thinking about it was enough to push me close to breaking point.

7 years have already passed.
None of us have ever talked about it, & I've always been running away from it, but I guess it's time to face up to reality.

The feeling sucks, & I am not afraid to admit that, I really am afraid.

It made me cry.



This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
Cos' you know, you know, you know

I love you, I loved you all along
& I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming,
You'll be with me & you'll never go
Stop breathing,
If I don't see you, anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance, for one last dance
Cos with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand

I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
Cos' you know, you know, you know

I love you, I loved you all along
& I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming,
You'll be with me & you'll never go
Stop breathing,
If I don't see you, anymore

So far away, so far away
Been far away, for far too long
So far away, so far away
Been far away, for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted, I wanted you to stay
Cos' I needed,
I need to hear you say

That I love you, I loved you all along
& I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing,
Cos I'm not leaving you, anymore
Believe it,
Hold on to me never let me go

Keep breathing,
Cos I'm not leaving you, anymore
Believe it,
Hole on to me, never let me go

Keep breathing,
Hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing,
Hold on to me, never let me go

I press rewind, & remember when

I close my eyes, & I'm with you again

But in the end, I can still feel the pain

Everytime, I hear your name

My head, is saying that love would fit better in someone else's life.
My actions, are constantly shouting out my weaknesses.
My heart, is telling me to do all that I can to fight for what I love.

& I, just wanted the panadol to make them all shut up.

All that has been going on is killing me, I emphasize, IT'S KILLING ME.

The reason why I am not being sensible this time round, is simply because I find that there's no need for me to do so.
Why should I be sensible when nothing is making sense to me?

After I woke up yesterday night, I trashed Gabriel, & I promise I totally lost control.
I blasted at him, & even called him a bastard.
But seriously, does it thrill you guys to see us in pain?
Fiona doesn't deserve this kind of treatment, & I thought that since I couldn't do much about my own situation, I might as well help her get what she needs, to mend her broken heart.

I came home this morning, which was pretty pointless because I knew I didn't feel like cooping myself today.
Went down to Lavender, & it felt nice to be back in a place where I know so well, where I don't have to be afraid of admitting who I am.

& of course, it was fun catching up with best friend, we haven't spoken to each other for so long.
Thank you for listening to me, & if you ever need a listening ear, I'll be here.

I feel like deleting my friendster account, & I really have no mood to blog anymore.

"Hello monsieur, I wanted to kill myself but you're now directly in my way."

I tried to exchange your pains for all of my joys, my smiles, & my happiness.
I wanted to take all of your worries away with me, but I'm sorry that I failed.

I really am sorry.

Some listened to me, some encouraged me & told me to stay strong, others who couldn't find the words to say, simply just kept quiet & watched me cry.

It's alright, & I just want to thank all of you for being there.

I've got to say a sorry because I know I have, & will be, letting all of you down.

Before I go, this, is for the one who gave me the courage to love like I've never loved before, like I've never been hurt, but in the end still took it away.



Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret
That you've been hiding
& who's gonna take my place

I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I though this love would never end
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
& I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know?
You never told me

Baby, you should've called me
When you were lonely
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
too many chances
To show you how much I care

I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
& I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know?
You never told me (Never told me)

About the pain & the tears
If I could I would
Turn back the time

I should've seen it coming
I should've read the signs
Anyway (anyway), I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
& I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know?
You never told me

Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
& I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know?
You never told me

Hello world, my boyfriend & I aren't together anymore, & all I want to do is just cry.

I'm sorry, for my fucked up attitude.
I'm sorry, for getting in your way.
I'm sorry, that you couldn't put up with me.
I'm sorry, for all the pain that I brought you.
I'm sorry, for pushing all the blame to you when it was all mine.
I'm sorry, for being me.

& I'm sorry, for falling in love with you.

Leandra got Ethan to ask me out this coming Saturday, it started off okay, but later on...

- ♡ Stacy; & you know you're irreplaceable, says:
oh alright, tell lean i'll give her a holler later this week.
sk4tes. says:
fair enough.i'm bringing rover along.
- ♡ Stacy; & you know you're irreplaceable, says:
if that's a joke it's nowhere near making me laugh.
sk4tes. says:
sorry to disappoint you.im serious.
- ♡ Stacy; & you know you're irreplaceable, says:
OH THAT'S ALRIGHT I'M SO DARN EXCITED TO MEET THE LIZARD MUNCHING PUPPY AGAIN AND HAVE HIM LICK MY FACE.
- ♡ Stacy; & you know you're irreplaceable, says:
because A, anybody with common sense would know that you can't bring a dog in starbucks,
- ♡ Stacy; & you know you're irreplaceable, says:
and B, fuck you.

HAHAHAH! :D

Here's Stacy-the-song, for you.



She'll take you down, she'll spin you round
She'll make your, head explode
Like no one else in town will
But turn your back, she'll walk away
She'll make you, wanna stay
Like no one else in town will

So watch out your head will explode
Watch out your head will explode
(She'll make you come back for more)

She'll get you drunk, she'll make you drive
She'll make you want to, stay alive
Like no one else in town will
She'll smoke you out, she'll get you high
She'll make you, want to die
Like no one else in town will

Watch out your head will explode
Watch out your head will explode
Watch out your head will explode

(Like no one else in town will
Like no one else in town will)

She'll make you head explode

Watch out your head will explode
Watch out your head will explode
(Like no one else in town will)
Watch out your head will explode

She'll make you come back for more

Like no one else in town will

Stacy is now stuck in my head.

No, not me -.-
I'm not stuck in my own head, the song, Stacy is.

Watch out your head will explode
Watch out your head will explode
Watch out your head will explode...

Oh-kaaaaay damn it, I've got to stop that.

I just realised that today's the last day of the short (but nowhere near sweet) holidays, & what's more, my Chemistry & Physics worksheet is still somewhere in my bag :D

Grrr Stacy you idiot you ought to bang your head against a tree.

There are times when it is really pointless to explain anything at all, no one would probably understand what you're talking about.

But there is still something that I have to make everybody understand, & that's the reason why I'm not appearing as frequently as I used to.

The reason, is anything BUT avoiding something/somebody there.

Simple enough to be understood, I believe.

Anybody who thinks that their presence is enough to make me disappear obviously thinks too highly of himself/herself.

Seriously speaking, there is really nothing for me to be afraid of.

I know that I'm not going there for the company, but to seek that Something Else.
& I know there are still some that genuinely care, & they're trying to get me to go back, like Gary hahahah.

But to be honest, I haven't found a reason that is enough for me to forget about the place where I had once loved so much.
Neither have I discovered a reason for me to go back.

& OH did I say, Gary told me what happened to him last week & it totally caught me off guard & made me go WHAT THE ^$&#^!%@?

I probably still need more time to think this whole matter through, before I make a decision.

& Gary, after ALL that I've painstakingly done, you seriously owe me BIG time.

Hello again?

Of all timings, you had to choose this time to reappear in my life.

Honestly I've gotten pretty much used to your disappearing acts, time after time you disapparated, evanesce, evaporated, & vanished into literally, thin air.
Then suddenly out of nowhere, you appear right infront of me again.

You've always been the one who believed in me when everybody else wouldn't, & no matter what you always managed to get me back on track when I got lost elsewhere.
Not forgetting always giving your best shot at trying to teach me Algebra, hahahah.

& it's really funny, there's always been this something in you that got me so addicted, I had to keep going back for more.

But say really, I'm not about to let that happen this time round.

I'm not saying that I'm unwilling to let you in again as a friend, but other than that I'm not about to let my mind & heart wander to anywhere else.

I've known you for so long, & believe me, I know you well enough to know what I'll be dealing with.
This time round, I won't let anything that you say, do, or feel, affect my moods.

I've come to my senses, I know that whatever happened in the past was mostly my fault.
Now I'm here with my heart mended, & I've managed to let everything go.
& I know you've done it too, because in the first place you've never held on to it.

But whatever, just let the past stay there (:

Now that you're back, & you're right on track, you'd better make sure that you don't go again without saying a goodbye, & leaving me here to clean up behind you, otherwise I'll kill you, I promise.

Ahhh the things I do for you, asshole.

Welcome back, best friend! :D

Gawdddd I was at Meiqi's blog & just reading her posts totally made my hair stand.

I'm looking forward to returning back to school, cos there's now something to kill my boredom when I'm in class, & that's none other than teasing the *cough* new couples *cough*.

It's 4.15 AM now & I can't sleep, many thanks to the cup of coffee I downed this evening.
I'm about to die of boredom, there's really nobody online except for David Kuan who's too into his game of Maplestory to realise that I have been flooding him in MSN.

I don't think I ought to call Howard at this time, even though I know that he's wide awake because he's out cycling with Gabby & the rest, & I really don't want him to fall off his bike while talking to me, hahahah.

Or maybe I should wake Fiona up /:

Ok then again, maybe not.

& oh did I say, being the nice, thoughful, caring [insert another 200 nice words] girlfriend, I actually gave Howard a holler at 12, on the dot.

It's really funny.
When I was younger it all used to be just another stupid crush, but who would've thought that a year later all that I wished for actually came true.

We're nowhere near perfection, & this is no Cinderella story scene.
There's so much more obstacles for us to overcome just ahead.
I know it.
I just do.

A short span of one month doesn't prove anything.
But we've got plenty of time, don't we (:

Maybe I should just give Howard another holler.

I can't bring myself to believe that Kieran can let all of what happened go, just like that.

I mean, it's just plain crazy.

But since Kieran has decided to let the matter rest, there's nothing that I can do.
(Well as much as I want to)

Bahhhh, shit just happens.

& oh just this morning I was over at Ethan's & while everyone else was sleeping, I was happily watching Cartoon Network with Rover just beside me when I suddenly saw this gigantic lizard on the wall just beside the telly.
I was fretting over it & it got so bad, I couldn't even watch the cartoon without the damned lizard catching my attention every 5 seconds or so.
Poor me was hoping for it to just move away to a quiet corner so that at least I couldn't see it, & finally after about 15 minutes or so it moved higher up the wall, & I was just about to relax when the lizard lost its grip on the wall & fell to the ground.
Almost immediatly after that happened, Rover jumped off the couch then literally stared at the lizard, which was now laying quite still on the ground, probably too terrified to move.
I was wondering what Rover was going to do next, when suddenly, he barked & moved close enough to sniff at the damned thing.
& if you thought that was gross,

Rover proceeded to munch at the disgusting, feebly, helpless, thing.

I forgot what was my reaction, I think I screamed bacause the next moment I knew Leandra, Ethan, & Kieran was asking me what happened.

& I refused to let Rover anywhere near me for the rest of the day.

I forgot when was the last time I felt this anger, this rage, this fury, taking over me.

They should've known better then to hurt the people that I care about.
Now I'm mad, & I am going to make those motherfuckers pay.

I AM SO FREAKED OUT I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE.

When I return back to school, I promise I am going to bang Meiqi & Josephine's head together with all my strength.
All their pleas for me to let them off will be ignored, & when their heads swell to such a size that they can't fit through the door, they'll finally scream that they're sorry & they'll never again keep things like these from me.
Satisfied by the answer, I'll smile a sickly sweet smile, then turn & walk away, while their limp & lifeless bodies lay on the ground.

:D

You've got this new head filled up with smoke

I've got my veins all tangled close

To the jukebox bars you frequent,

The safest place to hide

A long night spent with your most obvious weakness

You start shaking at the thought

You are everything I want,

Cos you are everything I'm not

Howard is currently being annoying!

So I am back from the Sungei Buloh/Science Centre trip, but the trip to Sungei Buloh was pretty much wasted, thanks to the rain.
If the reptiles & migratory birds were sheltering themselves from the rain & were hiding from us, there's no doubt that they're good at it, cos hell yeah we could hear them, but they were totally out of sight.

To our amazement, we actually completed the whole of Route 1 & 2 in a short span of 2 hours. Jimmy, Huxley, Fiona & I were walking together so it was really like 1/9 of a 2e4'06 gathering, HAHAH.

& I promise I saw a crocodile, but stupid Huxley kept insisting that it was a Monitor Lizard.

Maybe it'll be better if I let the pictures do the talking.




I was really attracted to this sign, I don't know why.


Fiona received a "Welcome to Malaysia" sms right after I took the picture, haha.


Squirrel! :D




Squirrels again, they're so bloody adorable, I promise.


Huxley & Jimmy (:


Oh, those tiny white things are actually Egrets, LOL.


View from the Aerial. It took me so goddamned much just to snap this picture.




Oh, there's actually a crocodile in the picture. Perfectly camouflaged though.


WHOOO LET THE DAWGS OUT


View from the Tower Hide, I promise I half freaked out when I was climbing up the steps.


Best friend & I, drenched from the rain ):


Huxley really doesn't know how to smile into the camera.


Jimmy does it waaaaaaaaaay better.






Even though it was very much a Geography trip, I didn't forget about art :D
Miss Shirley must be so goddamned proud of me.


HAHAHAHAHAH all eyes on Fiona please!




No, I didn't forget about my best friend.

& being the perfect girlfriend, I decided to go all the way down to Thomson after the trip just to meet Howard, despite being almost drained of my energy.


Stupid gangster, like Huxley, doesn't know how to smile for the camera.


Hahaha & so I forced him to smile.

I never knew that it'll hurt so much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGfXwwscXRs

Goddamned stupid people!
Who the hell gets tattoos like these, it's like telling the whole world of their stupidity.

These pictures were taken probably about a million lightyears ago, but this was how I spent one of the random Fridays.

I apologise on Fiona's behalf for the lousy quality of the pictures.

(It's her damned phone, for fuck's sake.)


That's Fiona sleeping in class, & me trying to study :D

Ok fine maybe I wasn't exactly studying, but still.

At least I'm not sleeping my life away, unlike Fiona.










HAHAH would somebody please look at Karim.





Karim's adorable, no?

The clock reads 1.17, & I don't know what the hell I am doing here when I've got to get my ass out of the bed at 6.

ShaoJun told Howard that I bullied him just because I called him by his new nickname, which is, Jay Chou.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WORLD COMING TO, I JUST CALLED HIM JAY CHOU FOR !#$#^#"?@'S SAKE!

He should be thankful that it was nice enough of me to not call him Magikarp or remind him of Hello Panda!

...Crazy fella.

If you ask if I'm afraid, I am.
In fact, I'm very afraid.

But then again, isn't this life all about fighting for your happiness, fighting for what you love, & taking risks, over & over again?

Confronting my fears & insecurities are too painful, but I'm finally learning to cope with it.

Am I?

Even if we go Dutch, you still touch my love, it's free.

Caught Evan Almighty yesterday in class, it's a nice show, though it got rather draggy at some parts.
Hilarious twist from the usual, biblical story of Noah & the ark.
(Pssst, the graphics were surprisingly clear!)

On that very same day, Howard climbed over the fence so as to get out of school.
Accidentally poked himself in the process, & all I can say is serve him right, hah.

Returned back to NTPS, & I've never realised how much I'd missed all of my ex-classmates/schoolmates untill I saw them.
Leona & Wendy are still pretty much the same, Victor looks like he just got out of the Boys' Home, YanMei still has the same tomboy-ish look, Farhan got soooooo tall, HongKai is still the same goofy asshole, Jeremy is now the typical tall-dark-handsome kind of hottie (he was my kindergarten sweetheart, mind you!), & our favourite Miss Yip is STILL, single.

Oh & did I say that ThaiGuan is such a fat arse now.

& Mrs Nathan is surprised that I am (still) in the Express stream.

That totally made me go WHAT THE $!^%$&"^!@?
Even though I was such a naughty little girl when I was in Primary 6, but like I said,
Primary 6!

How demoralizing.

On a lighter note, say hello to the holidays (I know it's just a week, shut up about it already)...

& the books.

Scratch that bit of "on a lighter note" away, please.