Yay lions!
I like lions!

That aside, all of you should say hello to Stacy the lobster, my arms are horribly sunburnt now, many thanks to Mr. Sun who just had to shine while I was at the JG guys' soccer match.
It's not that bad, really, except for the fact that my arms are burnt, but my legs aren't.
So right now I probably look like I had a suntan with my bottom half in the sand.

I think retail therapy works on me, but I have decided that shopping is a very energy-consuming affair.
Just 3 hours & I felt like dying, seriously.
How, on, earth, do, the, rest, of, the, female, population, shop, all, day, (in heels).

The crowd at Bugis was crazy, & I mean craaaazy, thank God Fiona wasn't around today otherwise Cherlynn & I wouldn't be able to do any shopping at all because Fiona would just want to get out of the crowd (hahah).
We definitely missed her presence, but I hope Fiona had a fun time at Ikea choosing her wardrobe anyway (double hahah).

I feel black.
I should wear black tomorrow.

If you people are wondering what happened to my previous blogskin, it's because I just screwed it up.
Right now it's 3.45 AM & I am too lazy to fix it, & I had no choice but to throw something together.

& the result, was this emo piece of shit -.-

Hello Joel Tan Yaohui why do you love bullying me so much ):
-throws a tomato in your face-

I wonder if in the future I'll really find a reason good enough for me to stay.
It's not because that I don't want to, I've tried really hard but somehow I just cannot picture myself in this place.
So many have asked me why I want to leave when all my family & friends are here, & I can't answer them.
I've almost never been away from this place & yes, this place sure means something.
I jolly well know that I have all the protection that I need here, but I think that life here is too monotonous.
I can't never, ever, put up with a 9 - 5 job.
There's alot that's threatening to burst out, I think I pretty much know what I want & I don't want to dread getting up every single day, I need something to get my adrenaline pumping & something that gets me going.
Maybe it's just because of the fact that I'm young, that's why I'll think this way, maybe when I grow older I would change my mind but right now, no.

& like what I always say, if I find a reason that's good enough, I would stay.

That aside, school has been such a bore lately, I've only been looking forward to school for the past 2 days because Fiona sprained her ankle during the last minute of her netball match (what a joke), & therefore I get to be late for classes because I have to make sure that she doesn't sprain her other ankle by tumbling down the stairs (c'mon we all know Fiona) & she, walks, so, slowly.

I really felt like killing Mr Yip yesterday.
He just HAD to show all of us the photos from his trip to England, & when he said that he went to Old Trafford, I got, so, freakingggg, upset!

& thus I have decided that: I am going to make my husband bring me to Manchester in the future.
So he better be rich.
& he better be a soccer fan.
Even better if he supports Manchester United.

Shit. Stacy stop dreaming.

Piecing every thought together, find the words to make me better

Nostalgia.










I think I miss you beary much.
Beary, beary, much.

Let's take a trip down my memory lane.


When I first tried Strawberry-plucking (or whatever you call it),


When we still used to hang out,

When we still used to do stupid things together,

When I first got to know Gary,
When Lester still looked like a kid,

When I was barely 13,

When everyone was younger,

When I spent my first Christmas in Powerhouse & when JonTan was still around ):

When I took my first picture with Joy,

When I didn't even know what I was capable of,


When my hair was shorter,

When I could put everything down & be stupid,

When we were all dressed up,

When we all were in pretty dresses,

When none of it was so screwed up,

When my baby was still around,

When we were all having fun at Tabbi's,

When Stuart didn't seem THAT tall,

When Fiona still had her long hair,

& when I had my short hair,

When I had my heart shattered,

When I barely knew Sam,

When I was trying to behave like a kid because it was Children's Day,


When I smiled & took this picture with my toes in the sand,

When we all had our final gathering as 3e4,

When Zakir still has his blonde, mohawk hair,

When I just simply had nothing else to do,

When Fiona was sleeping so soundly,

When I still had my Tigger comb,

When we were still the young artists at work,

When I'd used to go out gallivanting with Fiona,

When Gary was still around,

When I got so fascinated by the white dog that was on the wall at Marina,

When this picture was still my primary picture on Friendster,

When I was still so much in love,

When I would give all of me,

& when me & my rockers had this field all to ourselves.

It's been such a long way & I know I have a much longer way to go.

I'm still quite amazed at how much I've grown over the years, a couple of years sure makes a big difference & though there have been quite some paths that I never should've taken, I'm glad God sustained me through all the good & bad times

I've never really been able to say this in the past, but I guess whatever's meant to be, would work out perfectly.

Father, thank You for the nail pierced hands & the blood You've shed, in You I've been found & once again I commit everything into your loving hands.

I really hate what Steven is putting Cherlynn through.

I'd never give anyone the ability to hurt me that way, let alone be able to make myself put up with that kind of shit.
If that's the kind of love someone would give me, I'd just turn & walkaway, not only because he doesn't deserve me giving in a part of me, it's also because of the fact that I deserve better.

Hell yeah I love myself, & I'll never let anyone (especially a guy) have a grip over me.
I was never afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve, but now I know that by wearing your heart on your sleeve, you're just asking for trouble & some unnecessary heartbreak.
Of course I've been there before & not many can break me in that way, damn the fact that I never seem to learn from my lessons because I kept going back & got myself stuck time after time.
Everyone else said "once bitten twice shy", for me it was "once bitten never shy".

Then again, I am thankful for the pain that I went through & the scars that are still left there because they make up who I am today.
& yes I love The One that I serve, He has never failed me & I know that His faithfulness, endures forever.

I, have got a backbone stronger than yours.

Okay now everyone should make me their role model.

Jokes aside & on a very heavy note, I'm having a toothache again, you won't be able believe the amount of candies I ate yesterday.
Grrrreat job done Stac-io, you can go bang your head against a tree now.

Then on a lighter note (hahah), I'm so looking forward to the weekend, I get to see someone in action again after suchhhh a long time!

Okay goodbye fellow Earthlings, it's 5.30 now & I gotta run, it'll be great to catch some shots before the sun goes down (:

I'm so sick of being so stupid & believing that you'll someday, come back.

Did I say, that I had such a wonderrrrful time catching up with Sunshine, prata was great though I almost fell over from dinner, & it was so nice of him to send me all the way back home (:

I wonder when's the next time I'll be seeing him again, both of us are so caught up with the different things that are going on in our lives, & sometimes we don't have anything left in us, we can't even breathe, that annoying emptiness can be so, torturing.

Life can be such a bitch at times & how I wish I could just put a leash on it.

I want my eyebrow piercing. Damn.

That little corner in my heart's for you

I have a total of 65 pictures from prawning today, & (obviously) right now I am too lazy to upload all of them, so you people have to be patient! :D

Have I ever said how much I adore thinking while I'm on the bus?
Many people tell me that they can never think straight while they're on the bus because it's too noisy & they always get distracted by the people.
Perhaps I am the only weird one around but I love it when I can just sit, shut the world out with the MP3 in my ears, watch the rest of the world go by & think.

My thoughts take me out of this world & sometimes they just seem to race through my mind like it's racing in F1, it can be kind of overwhelming but I guess I do like it & I'm already pretty much used to it, funny thing is, I can never seem to remember what exactly I think about.

I hate it when things/people disrupt my train of thoughts (see why I get agitated when someone nudges me when I'm thinking), that why for most of the time I wished that I could just stay on the bus.

No it's okay you really don't have to get what's going through my mind because sometimes I really don't get myself too.

Sigh, look at me, I'm going depressed all over again.

HELLO MY DEAR TRAVIS IF YOU SEE THIS PLEASE TELL ME WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU.

(& I seriously mean, WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU?!)

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

Just in case you guys were wondering why I'm such a happy little girl, it's because I've gotten permission to submit photography work instead of doing painting/sculpturing, pursuading the teacher was so much easier than I thought it would be.

On top of that, I managed to find someone who's willing to borrow me a manual camera, all within that day.
(YAY thank you WenKai I promise I'll treat you to lunch if I score a distinction :D)

I know I'm probably going to spend a bombbbb, it costs about 30 cents to develop ONE pathetic picture, & I guess if I want to I can easily take up to 100, or maybe even 200...
The other down side of using manual cameras is that after I develop the picture & I don't like the colour/contrast, I'd have to scan it into the computer, edit it, then develop the picture out again.

But gosh can you believe it, I'm like on first step to watching my wildest dreams come true.

On Wednesday Fiona & I were talking about the O's results that would be coming out soon, & I don't know how we got to talking about Howard but yes we got there, & on my way home I was just thinking back, & some of the things kind of made me smile.
He was a great guy, I guess it was just because of our completely different set of thinking that led to the many misunderstandings.
I never really belonged into his world & he could never get my thoughts.
Right now it really doesn't matter if he still has the same opinion of me or not, to him I might have been faking it all along but that's okay because I know that I had stayed true to myself.
One thing that I'm sure of is that I've forgotten about how much I gave my heart & how much it hurt me when it was over, maybe I do see him as a friend, or maybe not, but I don't regret anything, the greatest mistake was sacrificing the friendship we once shared.

I just hope he's making the most out of his life (:

That aside, I'm down with flu & it suckssss, what a lousy timing the flu bug's got, but it beats falling sick during the CNY period.

I like bananas!

STACY IS A VERY HAPPY GIRL :D

Thank you Daddy in Heaven, it was all possible because of you (:

Oh God this is so overwhelming, I can't believe that I'm really taking my first step to reaching my dreams.

Do you guys remember this song?



I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

Outside it's now raining
& tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen?
Why did it all have to end?

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

I have your arms around me
Woah, like fire
But when I open my eyes,
You're gone

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

I'm a big big girl, In a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do feel, that I will, miss you much

Miss you much...

Oniichama is stupid.
Channel 5 is showing the Juventus match later, which is the delayed telecast, so obviously the net would already have the results.
Despite telling himself not to go onto soccernet, he just went on it & now he knows the score - which is, a draw.

So oniichama is upset now.

Baka.

That aside, I seriously think that Marcus Lim can sing, I had the privilege of hearing him sing because he was doing his Liturature project in the PA room today :D

On the way to Paragon today Tabbi, Steph & I were talking about our hopes & dreams, & now thinking back it kind of makes me sad.
Do you remember the time when you were able to hold the whole universe together with your dreams confidently in your hands?
When your primary school teacher asked you what was your ambition, you'd simply go "I want to be a police/doctor/pilot."
But now when somebody asks you who you want to be in the future, a whole long list of things comes out & you have so much to consider, like how you're going to reach for your dreams & how you're going to overcome the many obstacles.
After we got off the bus we suddenly ended up talking about politics, I don't remember ever doing that at 5, we just listened to the adults talk not knowing what on earth it's all about, all we knew was our ABCs, all we'd talk about was our new barbie dolls & we never had to face or talk about things like these & it's really sad because it just tells me that we've really lost that innocence of a little kid.

For me, I always said I wanted to be a Veterinarian.
What did you tell your teacher when they asked about you ambition?

On a lighter note, dinner at Spageddies was awesome, all hell breaks loose & it was cheese here cheese there cheese everywhere, the 3 of us went berserkkkk, even our garlic bread was covered in cheese.
I was almost rolling over from dinner, was so full I felt that I didn't have to eat anymore for at least a week, but when I came home I started munching on the packet of chips that was on the dining table.

& CNY is just around the corner so hello to xx kg.

Show me how to love like You, have loved me.

Heidi Baker conference was Awesome!
Her message touched me & it really inspired me to do big things for God (:
She's one powerful woman & she's so filled with love it radiates off her.

During altar call today there was this woman that I didn't know who just came up to me & wrapped her arms around me.
It's rather funny but it was just like she knew how I felt, the words that she said kind of sank into my heart, it's so difficult to even try & explain but at that moment I really felt loved (:

WenKai was going to JB for supper with Dennis (crazy people) & thus I got a free ride back home, & Dennis kind of drives like he's racing in F1, in my mind I was like ahhhh I really don't want to die at such a young age.

OH OH OH YAYYYY RONALDO JUST SCORED!!!!

我在你心中还剩多少?

You say, go slow, I fall behind.

I think there's something wrong with me because I could never fall asleep before the clock strikes 12, but nowadays I've been falling asleep when I'm on the phone with Onisan at like, 11?

On a heavier note, my timetable is: Nonsense.
Who the hell has both sciences, & 3 periods of art with maths one after another on the same day, they are probably trying to kill us or something.
On Thursday art & maths totally killed me, I'm really not kidding because when school ended all that filled my mind was Bugis, paintbrushes, distance/time graphs & the annoying a = v-u/t formula.
Not that they had any link but my goodness, it got so bad I couldn't even think straight to save my life.

I think I'm burning out really soon, today when I came home I totally died on the bed, slept all the way till 9 & woke up just in time for dinner (hahah I know I have my dinner at such unearthly timings)

I miss hanging out with my rock-erssss, all of us have been so busy & so caught up with life to actually give each other a call, let alone hang out like what we used to do.
The last time I spoke to Kieran was on New Year's day, I still remember I felt like shit that night & when he answered my call he went, "Hey Tig, I know you're not okay, what's up?"
It's like he can read me like an open book even if I'm not there, but I can promise that I felt so much better after that.

Travis hasn't been calling since I left Malaysia, I don't even know where on earth is he (I'm serious)
But then again I guess there's really no point in making a big hoo-hah because it isn't the first time he just went poof.
It's like he can just disappears into thin air or something.
Sometimes I like doing the same thing too but I swear he's a million times worse, he could even fly off in a plane without saying goodbye.

Just a totally irrelevant note, I have 50 chemical reactions to write & I'm really upset. Period.

It's not supposed to hurt this way

Goodbye to the holidays, to waking up at 2pm in the afternoon, to CSI in the middle of the night, to impromtu sleepovers at Tabbi's, I'll see you again in 10 months' time & hellllo again, to waking up at 6 am every morning & blue school uniform.

There's so much to adapt to & I don't like it.
I really hate to be pushed out of my comfort zone, but I know that if I want to get to where I want to go I'd have to buck up & put in more effort.

That aside, the food in school is kind of making me digusted, not that it has ever appealed to me but nowadays I don't even feel like taking a step into the canteen, so both Fiona & I end up sitting outside our classroom during recess & listening to my MP3.

I've been feeling so down lately & it really sucks, I hate it when all I feel like doing is sit in a quiet dark corner & just watch the rest of the world go by.
Something just isn't right but I don't know what the hell it is, it's not even supposed to bother me because we're just friends.

I know I cannot ditch my responsibilities, but I really wonder if I'm using escaping as an excuse to run away.
I've been doing this so many times I'm getting sick of it, but then I can't seem to look at this whole matter face to face.

To put it in a sentence: I can't take it.

If only a simple sorry could undo all the hurt & heal every heartbreak, this world would be a much better place to live in.

If only time flew faster than me falling in love

Oh my it's 2008 already.

If you ask me, I really don't know what to say about 2007.
Eventful, probably, & filled with quite some ups & downs.

But I guess I can't deny the fact that I've learnt quite alot in the previous year, I took some paths that I never should've taken & learnt things the hard way, broke some hearts that I now wish I had a second chance to mend, regretted some things that I've said & done, got into wuite some unecessary trouble & ultimately got myself hurt.

But then again I guess there's really nothing much I can do about it, afterall I can't turn back time.
The only thing I can do now is move on, & along.
I thank God for the scars in my heart because they made me who I am today.

Yesterday during Thanksgiving service I was just thinking back & I was like Stacy why were you such an idiot, however it does make me feel better when I think of how much I've grown mentally, but whether or not growth is enough, that's a question left for in the near future.

Of course, my favourite part.
I never got to go up to really thank the people I wanted to thank because there would always be someone sucking away the time (*cough*John*cough*).
Some people would probably never read this but I guess I really can't think of how else to thank them.

Fiona
Hey best friend, I really thank God for you, even though sometimes you really drive me up the wall, but that's okay I still love you anyway. Remember when we started off our Sec 1 days in this big group? Now there's only the 3 of us left, & you've been a really wonderful friend (: your hyper-ness & your nonsense never fails to cheer me up. Continue to grow in the Lord & remember no matter what I'd be right here for you (:

Cherlynn
The both of us have been through the good & bad times, & I'm really thankful that we managed to break past every circumstance that we faced. Though I really don't know what's going to happen in this year ahead but no matter what I'm going to hold on tight to you (: I'll always be here if you need me (:

Tabbi
Cousin! (: I really thank God for such a wonderful cousin like you, you're always there when I need you, & I'm so sorry for making you listen to me rant about everything & yet nothing at all. Sometimes it's like I don't even have to say a word & you already know what I'm trying to say (: Thank you cousin for everything, I'm only a phonecall away if you ever need me. Love!

Stephanie
Hello anime frrrreak (: I really adore talking rubbish with you & being emo with you (hahah). It's been wonderful to know you & even as we continue in this brand new year I pray that God would bring us closer & that our friendship would grow stronger. Loveya!

Isabella
Really amazes me to see how far you've come, still seems like yesterday when you were still P6 & all of us were sitting in one circle playing cards (& that Sophie sat there for hours) , but anyway, I thank the Lord for giving me such a wonderful friend like you (: thank you for always trying to cheer me up when I feel like poop, & for putting up with my nonsense. I really pray that the Lord would continue to use you for His glory, & no matter what I'd be here for you! (:

Korkor
I really don't know what else to thank you because I've thanked you so many times already. But anyway, thank you for listening to me rant when I needed a listening ear, for seriously being there 24/7, for putting up with my nonsense, for cheering me up when I feel down, for offering help in my schoolwork, for guiding me in my spritual walk with God, for the many times you've paid for my movie tickets (hahah), & I really think that I've really been blessed to have such an wonderful brother like you (: I'd never forget how all of these happened because of one word I uttered. I really thank God for you. In this coming year, Meimei really hope that you'll be filled with His fire even as you take your first step into leadership! Meimei's gonna follow in your footsteps! (hahah)

Joel
We haven't really spoken in such a long time. I do miss the days when we were able to just sit down anywhere & talk about everything, but I guess it's pretty much my fault that things have turned out this way. I'm really sorry for the pain I've caused you, if I had a second chance I'd try to mend your heart. Thank you for all that you've done in the past.