Don't bother looking.
I'm not here anymore.

SHIFTED!

& I never think about you,
but you're always on my mind

My life has been so hectic.
Everything is piling up & I'm so afraid I'm going to drown in this mess.

This is probably the only chinese song I'd never get sick of.
It's rather meaningful to me, & everytime I hear it, it never fails to bring back some memories.

So before I go, this is for you, the you that has shared so much with me for 6 months of my life.
I guess I still do think about you. Quite alot, in fact.
& I choose to believe that you know who you are.

What a perfect, little, song.



我只能低着头发呆
让回忆渗透脑袋
渐渐变空白
我把它当做个意外
但内心还想不开
因为我明白
其实你都还在

我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我可以当作已释怀
他对我也算关怀
他看不出来
我知道这样不应该
在他身上找依赖
算不算是种出卖
因为你一直在

我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我想起你亲吻我的时候
想起你眼神中的沉默
我想起了我们平静的分手
我闭上眼
想起当时你每一个的承诺
把你整个心都交给我
然而到后来我什么都没有

越是没有你越是心痛

我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有,

当你离开的时候

& from this very moment onward, sono-fuerte will cease to operate.

Goodbye.

Today I took the lonely road
Sitting by the window & nobody knew
That I needed nobody, but you, but you

Why is it that every single time I think that I've broken free, I still get beaten back down to the ground, finding myself still chained to the same, old, thing?

Should I feel like I do?
When would I stop breathing such disappointment?

We've seen each other change through the years, & we opened up & acknowledged each other in a special way.
Sometimes when I think back, it was cool, how we thought alike & got each other's jokes before the others do.
We've been through some hard times & helped each other along the way, & I guess I'm thankful that in a way, I still have you in my life, though right now to me, it's in a very different & painful way.

Cell visitation yesterday was great, watched Nemo at Joy's, learnt Mahjong at Cassandra's & Walter's, & our last stop was Yingyan's (:

OKAY OKAY I'll upload the pictures soon.

Sent Lynette off today, she's probably on the plane right now, at the Airport I was like, Stacy don't cryyyy, but hahah Mission Failed.

& Lynette didn't even cry.
Not one tear. Nada. Zilch.

On the bus home I was trying to imagine what I'd do if I were the one who's flying off, & I honestly think that I'll start crying the moment I step into the Airport & see my loved ones or something.
It's quite scary to be sitting in a plane, knowing that you're going to fly off to a place where it's so foreign, & what's more, you're going to be alone.

But somehow that loneliness I know I'll feel if I really were to go somewhere else, isn't enough to make me feel like staying put.

But maybe along the way I'll find a good enough reason for me to stay.

I really miss Leona & Wendy.

So write the letters in teary ink

I just need some time, to think

Believe it or not, I spent my day cooped up at home, didn't even go to school today ("you made Valentine's Day a public holiday!" said Kieran.)

But, I had a pretty pleasantttt surprise.

Ahhhh the oh-so-wonderful people I have in my life.

Though I'd be alone this Valentine's Day, I know I don't have to feel alone,

because I have You.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, the pain would go away.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, it'll all be okay.

My God is the healer & the best pain killer.

Dinner (dinner?) with Joy, Stephanie & Isabella yesterday was great, did abit of shopping & I was so tempted to splurge!
After Steph & Isa left, Joy & I ended up sitting outside Wisma Atria, talking to her made me miss someone especially much but thanks alot Joy, you were a grrrreat listening ear (:

Today I found the courage & strength to do something that I thought I'd never be able to do.
Though the feeling is really bittersweet, I know I made a right move.

I'm sorry if I made anyone of y'all worried but I really am fine (:

Can't believe it's Sunday already, time to switch back to the "study" mode!

I don't even know you
You won't even know I'm gone
Was it something I did wrong

Roses, roses, cold,
Roses, rose, sold out.