Stacy :D

2008-02-25T10:29:00.000-08:00

Don't bother looking.
I'm not here anymore.

SHIFTED!

2008-02-24T01:39:00.000-08:00

& I never think about you,
but you're always on my mind

My life has been so hectic.
Everything is piling up & I'm so afraid I'm going to drown in this mess.

This is probably the only chinese song I'd never get sick of.
It's rather meaningful to me, & everytime I hear it, it never fails to bring back some memories.

So before I go, this is for you, the you that has shared so much with me for 6 months of my life.
I guess I still do think about you. Quite alot, in fact.
& I choose to believe that you know who you are.

What a perfect, little, song.

我只能低着头发呆
让回忆渗透脑袋
渐渐变空白
我把它当做个意外
但内心还想不开
因为我明白
其实你都还在

我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我可以当作已释怀
他对我也算关怀
他看不出来
我知道这样不应该
在他身上找依赖
算不算是种出卖
因为你一直在

我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有
当你离开的时候

我想起你亲吻我的时候
想起你眼神中的沉默
我想起了我们平静的分手
我闭上眼
想起当时你每一个的承诺
把你整个心都交给我
然而到后来我什么都没有

越是没有你越是心痛

我想起了遇见你的时候
想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手
我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖
似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有,

当你离开的时候

& from this very moment onward, sono-fuerte will cease to operate.

Goodbye.

2008-02-17T23:45:00.000-08:00

Today I took the lonely road
Sitting by the window & nobody knew
That I needed nobody, but you, but you

Why is it that every single time I think that I've broken free, I still get beaten back down to the ground, finding myself still chained to the same, old, thing?

Should I feel like I do?
When would I stop breathing such disappointment?

We've seen each other change through the years, & we opened up & acknowledged each other in a special way.
Sometimes when I think back, it was cool, how we thought alike & got each other's jokes before the others do.
We've been through some hard times & helped each other along the way, & I guess I'm thankful that in a way, I still have you in my life, though right now to me, it's in a very different & painful way.

Cell visitation yesterday was great, watched Nemo at Joy's, learnt Mahjong at Cassandra's & Walter's, & our last stop was Yingyan's (:

OKAY OKAY I'll upload the pictures soon.

Sent Lynette off today, she's probably on the plane right now, at the Airport I was like, Stacy don't cryyyy, but hahah Mission Failed.

& Lynette didn't even cry.
Not one tear. Nada. Zilch.

On the bus home I was trying to imagine what I'd do if I were the one who's flying off, & I honestly think that I'll start crying the moment I step into the Airport & see my loved ones or something.
It's quite scary to be sitting in a plane, knowing that you're going to fly off to a place where it's so foreign, & what's more, you're going to be alone.

But somehow that loneliness I know I'll feel if I really were to go somewhere else, isn't enough to make me feel like staying put.

But maybe along the way I'll find a good enough reason for me to stay.

I really miss Leona & Wendy.

2008-02-14T10:52:00.000-08:00

So write the letters in teary ink

I just need some time, to think

Believe it or not, I spent my day cooped up at home, didn't even go to school today ("you made Valentine's Day a public holiday!" said Kieran.)

But, I had a pretty pleasantttt surprise.

Ahhhh the oh-so-wonderful people I have in my life.

2008-02-11T00:45:00.000-08:00

Though I'd be alone this Valentine's Day, I know I don't have to feel alone,

because I have You.

2008-02-10T23:14:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, tomorrow, the pain would go away.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, it'll all be okay.

My God is the healer & the best pain killer.

Dinner (dinner?) with Joy, Stephanie & Isabella yesterday was great, did abit of shopping & I was so tempted to splurge!
After Steph & Isa left, Joy & I ended up sitting outside Wisma Atria, talking to her made me miss someone especially much but thanks alot Joy, you were a grrrreat listening ear (:

Today I found the courage & strength to do something that I thought I'd never be able to do.
Though the feeling is really bittersweet, I know I made a right move.

I'm sorry if I made anyone of y'all worried but I really am fine (:

Can't believe it's Sunday already, time to switch back to the "study" mode!

2008-02-10T01:46:00.000-08:00

I don't even know you
You won't even know I'm gone
Was it something I did wrong

Roses, roses, cold,
Roses, rose, sold out.

2008-02-09T04:26:00.000-08:00

I've decided that though I may not have fully recovered, I still like the way my life is now (note: Like.)
In a way my life rocks, because firstly, I've got wonderful friends that love me genuinely & take me for who I am.
Next, I don't have to answer to any human being for my actions & it doesn't matter if someone can't understand what/why I'm making a particular decision, I'm not obliged to explain it to them anyway.

I was really sick & tired of going in rounds, but doggone it, I just wanted to touch the sky but you didn't even want to lift me that high.
You're probably somewhere out there enjoying life, & I guess that, is part of the reason why I shouldn't feel like poop.

I loved you, & I still love you.
It's really rather disappointing on my side because in my heart I still want it to be you, though I probably already know that nothing's going to happen.
My guess is that you're either one of them, or you're just like the many of them, who can't put up/accept the part of me that needs to be free once in awhile.

& yes it freaking hurts.

2008-02-09T02:06:00.000-08:00

Nigel & I went from speedboats to wooden planks & the both of us were trying so hard to save each other's life.

Well, literally.
Don't all of us just adore inside jokes like these.

We kind of had a "illegal gambling den" today at Aunty Gina's, the adults had mahjong in the study, poker cards in the living room, & we had Blackjack plus B/S in the kitchen (hahah yes the kitchen).
Lost almost all my coins in B/S & Benson was like, okay why don't you be the banker for awhile, you keep the winnings & I'll pay for the losses.

(Teehee the wonderful friends I have)

The same wonderful friends decided on meeting at 8.30 next Saturday & I got so agitated, I was like WHO THE HELL MEETS UP AT 8.30 ON A B-E-A-UTIFUL SATURDAY MORNING JUST FOR SENTOSA!!!!

Blah.

I AM GOING TO RECOUP MY LOSSES TOMORROW.

2008-02-08T11:15:00.000-08:00

MY NIGHT WAS PURE INSANITY!

Pffft no pictures taken because they weren't allowed, I tried to sneakshot but Kendy Dricky was like "don't get me into trouble you photowhore" ):

Reached home around 730 this morning, managed to catch 3 pathetic hours of sleep, to top it all off I awoke to the little meatball crying away & my parents quarrelling.

OH MAMA-MIA I'VE SUCH A DARN SEXY LIFE.

2008-02-06T22:55:00.000-08:00

• Stacy /} He's got eyes like black suns, says:
eh NICE DP!
• Stacy /} He's got eyes like black suns, says:
who took the picture ah,
• Stacy /} He's got eyes like black suns, says:
(hahah)
Jo3:My best friend. says:
of course. cause its a pic of me=)
• Stacy /} He's got eyes like black suns, says:
the photographer did such a wonderful job! :D
Jo3:My best friend. says:
if the picture of the person is ugly the photographer good also no use=)
• Stacy /} He's got eyes like black suns, says:
EH CAN YOU STOP MAKING THIS ALL ABOUT YOU
• Stacy /} He's got eyes like black suns, says:
YOU SHOULD THANK THE PHOTOGRAPHER!

(& of course the oh-so-very-talented-photographer-that-gave-Joel-his-oh-so-very-nice-display-picture, is Your Royal Highness.)

2008-02-06T22:17:00.000-08:00

No I really don't care what you people are talking about, because I don't want to get myself tangled up in those shit with you guys.
I've seen, known, & been part of it for far too long.
I'm not afraid to deny the fact that I have been there before but I am even prouder to say that I'm not going anymore.

I stayed up with Korkor till 6 today, was supposed to go to school but decided against it because I was so sleepy, & Korkor was like, okay you should go & sleep, whoever wakes up the latest wins.

& today he woke up like, 5 minutes before me so hahah, victory.

It's CNY tomorrow but somehow I don't feel like it's just round the corner.
I think Nigel is really (& I mean, really) excited over the fact that he gets to ~~see me again~~ gamble his ass off again.
He was telling me just a moment ago how he intends to win all of Benson's money (which was kind of stupid).

But I guess I do miss that bunch of retards (:

I thought of somebody today, he was the first thing that came to my mind when I opened up my eyes.
Guess I've been trying really hard not to dwell on the subject but it was pretty much in vain because I found myself thinking back.
Way back, in fact.
It's been about a year or so & untill now I still wonder if I had taken the right path at that time.

But if you ask me if I regret taking that path, I'd tell you:

No, I don't.

2008-02-05T22:06:00.000-08:00

My right wrist is hurting so bad ):

Due to unforeseen circumstances, my trip has been canceled at the very last minute.
I'm still kind of upset but I guess there's no point in brooding about it.
This loss has made me seen how important it is to treasure the ones around you, because the very next moment they could be gone.
We always say, "tomorrow", but you'll never know, because tomorrow may never come.

Thank you Oniichama, for keeping me company till the wee hours, also for listening to me & all of my nonsense.
You've been really wonderful & I really don't know how I'd make it through yesterday night without you around (:

My rockers, thank you for the smses & phonecalls.
You guys blow my mind & my life wouldn't be the way it is now without all of you.
Even after all this time, you guys are still the ones that know me best.
Though we don't see each other much now, you know you still have a friend in me (:
Let's break it down now, rockers, I love y'all.

School was unfruitful today, I was just moping around, spent the whole 2 hours of my art lesson doing something that was totally irrelevant to my topic, & I spent my chinese lesson surfing the net from my phone ("Stop wasting money!!!!" the older brother said).

Somebody should come surprise me & brighten up my oh-so-monotonous life on Valentine's Day or something ):

2008-02-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

Why is life so unpredictable & fragile?
Why don't we get at least a warning sign so that we can prepare ourselves before something bad happens?

I wished that I had a chance to really appreciate him for all that he's done.
I'm so sorry, I didn't have the chance to say goodbye.

I wasn't expecting any of this, it just hit me straight in the face, it was really unexpected but I know that my God has a reason for everything.

Father, I trust in You & even through this difficult time I ask for your strength to be with Mummy & the rest of the family. No one would ever be able to steal my heart away the way that you do & sometimes I get so caught up with my life I can barely breathe, let alone focus my eyes on You. Break me, & mould me into a captivated vessel that's ready to seek you every moment of the day. Consume my thoughts & don't let any moment go by without me thinking of You. Your faithfulness endures forever & I am really thankful for this wonderful love.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

2008-02-04T01:01:00.000-08:00

I'm still caught in the middle & I don't know what to do.
I've been trying to find so many reasons to convince myself not to give it.
I'm sick of lying to myself & believing in something that's probably not going to happen now.
I've been hanging on this thin thread for quite some time now, & it really sucks to be just dangling in the middle of nowhere.

I don't want to let go & it's not that I don't want to hold on, but it's just that I've got nothing to hold on to.

It's so emotionally draining & I know I'm the only one who feels this way.
Maybe I'll never belong in your world.
You probably won't even know that this is about you but that's okay because I've been on my own for all this while.

Come back for me if one day you make up your mind & you know how you feel.

2008-02-03T08:37:00.000-08:00

The weather was so wet today /:

I was waiting for Korkor (who was waiting for Warren -.-) earlier today & he was playing soccer with the wall (hahah).
He forbade me to sit on the floor because I was wearing a dress, so to kill my boredom I dug out his Man Utd jersey & I probably looked stupid because I was hopping around with it.
But then again it served as a rather good shield from the annoying rain (:

That aside, my grandparents couldn't recognise me today, when I was at the door my granddad actually asked my grandmom "who's that girl standing outside" & she stared at me for a second or two, I was like !!!!!!!!! hello I'm your dearest granddaughter!

But I love my grandparents anyway (:

I'm leaving in 2 days time & I've already started packing, but knowing me I'd probably end up throwing everything into the bag at like, 12 am tomorrow.

2008-02-02T23:50:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful song.

You felt it so strong but nothing's, turned out how you want it

2008-02-02T00:13:00.000-08:00

Brayden, that little rascal, is making me go nuts.
I really wonder what's with my hair that attracts him so much that he HAS to tug at it (hard) every single time I carry him.

& the most annoying thing is that he pretty much leaves Mum's hair alone & only tugs at mine.

That little fishballll.

That aside, Jasmine says I've been deprived of my childhood just because my DP is a picture of me with a teddy bear ):

& speaking about teddy bears, did I tell you guys that I gave Candy a "bathe" just the other day, & amazingly, she survived the spin cycle.

Me: Y'know, I threw Candy into the washing machine. She survived.
Joel: ?
Me: Erm, Candy!
Joel: You mean you put sweets into the washing machine?
Me: !!!!!!!! CANDY THE TEDDY BEAR, YOU IDIOT!

But okay let's just ignore that retarded fellow.
Candy smells really pretty now & she's as good as new (:

Ahhhh dogpoop, Man Utd is losing!!!

I'm going to go pray for a miracle now.

2008-02-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

This week I:

painted a mouse that was 'burning in hell' (Ms Shirley nearly killed me for that)
laughed at somebody stupid who sent something about Sister's Day to Fiona
drank glucose & went insanely hyper
hit the floor while I was sleeping in the middle of the night (stop laughing)
drew on David's hand (:
went to NAFA
painted my nails silver
realised that I'm going to be all alone on Valentine's ):
thought of cures for bullies
made plans to turn Joel's fan club against him
got nagged for eating too much candies!
made Fiona eat Prata with me (:
had fun trying on pretty dresses with Cherlynn (:
fell in love with Arcade Fire!

What, a life I've got.

Poor Cherlynn was left all alone today because both Fiona & I were sleeping at home & myyyy, I had such a nice time pigging out & catching up on my sleep.

Why on earth do some people like going into details about their everyday life, I mean, I believe nobody is interested in the beehoon you had for lunch or what happened in ALL your lessons OR the 1 hour long conversation you had with your friend over the phone.
I've been getting so irritated at blogs like these & my dear friend, before you start spamming my tagboard going "blah blah blah I think you blog about your everyday life too", I'd advise you to refer back to my archives otherwise you'd just be asking for me to knock your lights out.
Sure, I don't deny the fact that I DO blog about life, but doggone it, I don't think I take it to the extreme by blogging about what happens every single-freaking-minute.

That aside, I think if I go on, these people who've got some monotonous life would start throwing rocks at me.

Moving on, I just realised that it's already February & looking back I can't believe how quickly one month just zoooomed by.
But anyway, February is quite an exciting month, I guess.
This year I won't be celebrating CNY with my family over here, Mummy's coming to fetch me on Tuesday afternoon (which means I get to miss school on Wednesday!), haven't seen some of my cousins in years & I'm looking forward to catching up with them, though the 5 hour long ride would probably suck.

& I'm not, looking forward to Valentine's.

2008-01-26T23:49:00.000-08:00

Yay lions!
I like lions!

That aside, all of you should say hello to Stacy the lobster, my arms are horribly sunburnt now, many thanks to Mr. Sun who just had to shine while I was at the JG guys' soccer match.
It's not that bad, really, except for the fact that my arms are burnt, but my legs aren't.
So right now I probably look like I had a suntan with my bottom half in the sand.

I think retail therapy works on me, but I have decided that shopping is a very energy-consuming affair.
Just 3 hours & I felt like dying, seriously.
How, on, earth, do, the, rest, of, the, female, population, shop, all, day, (in heels).

The crowd at Bugis was crazy, & I mean craaaazy, thank God Fiona wasn't around today otherwise Cherlynn & I wouldn't be able to do any shopping at all because Fiona would just want to get out of the crowd (hahah).
We definitely missed her presence, but I hope Fiona had a fun time at Ikea choosing her wardrobe anyway (double hahah).

I feel black.
I should wear black tomorrow.

2008-01-26T03:37:00.000-08:00

If you people are wondering what happened to my previous blogskin, it's because I just screwed it up.
Right now it's 3.45 AM & I am too lazy to fix it, & I had no choice but to throw something together.

& the result, was this emo piece of shit -.-

2008-01-25T15:34:00.000-08:00

Hello Joel Tan Yaohui why do you love bullying me so much ):
-throws a tomato in your face-

I wonder if in the future I'll really find a reason good enough for me to stay.
It's not because that I don't want to, I've tried really hard but somehow I just cannot picture myself in this place.
So many have asked me why I want to leave when all my family & friends are here, & I can't answer them.
I've almost never been away from this place & yes, this place sure means something.
I jolly well know that I have all the protection that I need here, but I think that life here is too monotonous.
I can't never, ever, put up with a 9 - 5 job.
There's alot that's threatening to burst out, I think I pretty much know what I want & I don't want to dread getting up every single day, I need something to get my adrenaline pumping & something that gets me going.
Maybe it's just because of the fact that I'm young, that's why I'll think this way, maybe when I grow older I would change my mind but right now, no.

& like what I always say, if I find a reason that's good enough, I would stay.

That aside, school has been such a bore lately, I've only been looking forward to school for the past 2 days because Fiona sprained her ankle during the last minute of her netball match (what a joke), & therefore I get to be late for classes because I have to make sure that she doesn't sprain her other ankle by tumbling down the stairs (c'mon we all know Fiona) & she, walks, so, slowly.

I really felt like killing Mr Yip yesterday.
He just HAD to show all of us the photos from his trip to England, & when he said that he went to Old Trafford, I got, so, freakingggg, upset!

& thus I have decided that: I am going to make my husband bring me to Manchester in the future.
So he better be rich.
& he better be a soccer fan.
Even better if he supports Manchester United.

Shit. Stacy stop dreaming.

2008-01-24T16:39:00.000-08:00

Piecing every thought together, find the words to make me better

Nostalgia.

I think I miss you beary much.
Beary, beary, much.

2008-01-23T15:11:00.000-08:00

Let's take a trip down my memory lane.

When I first tried Strawberry-plucking (or whatever you call it),

When we still used to hang out,

When we still used to do stupid things together,

When I first got to know Gary,
When Lester still looked like a kid,

When I was barely 13,

When everyone was younger,

When I spent my first Christmas in Powerhouse & when JonTan was still around ):

When I took my first picture with Joy,

When I didn't even know what I was capable of,

When my hair was shorter,

When I could put everything down & be stupid,

When we were all dressed up,

When we all were in pretty dresses,

When none of it was so screwed up,

When my baby was still around,

When we were all having fun at Tabbi's,

When Stuart didn't seem THAT tall,

When Fiona still had her long hair,

& when I had my short hair,

When I had my heart shattered,

When I barely knew Sam,

When I was trying to behave like a kid because it was Children's Day,

When I smiled & took this picture with my toes in the sand,

When we all had our final gathering as 3e4,

When Zakir still has his blonde, mohawk hair,

When I just simply had nothing else to do,

When Fiona was sleeping so soundly,

When I still had my Tigger comb,

When we were still the young artists at work,

When I'd used to go out gallivanting with Fiona,

When Gary was still around,

When I got so fascinated by the white dog that was on the wall at Marina,

When this picture was still my primary picture on Friendster,

When I was still so much in love,

When I would give all of me,

& when me & my rockers had this field all to ourselves.

It's been such a long way & I know I have a much longer way to go.

I'm still quite amazed at how much I've grown over the years, a couple of years sure makes a big difference & though there have been quite some paths that I never should've taken, I'm glad God sustained me through all the good & bad times

I've never really been able to say this in the past, but I guess whatever's meant to be, would work out perfectly.

Father, thank You for the nail pierced hands & the blood You've shed, in You I've been found & once again I commit everything into your loving hands.

2008-01-22T17:20:00.000-08:00

I really hate what Steven is putting Cherlynn through.

I'd never give anyone the ability to hurt me that way, let alone be able to make myself put up with that kind of shit.
If that's the kind of love someone would give me, I'd just turn & walkaway, not only because he doesn't deserve me giving in a part of me, it's also because of the fact that I deserve better.

Hell yeah I love myself, & I'll never let anyone (especially a guy) have a grip over me.
I was never afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve, but now I know that by wearing your heart on your sleeve, you're just asking for trouble & some unnecessary heartbreak.
Of course I've been there before & not many can break me in that way, damn the fact that I never seem to learn from my lessons because I kept going back & got myself stuck time after time.
Everyone else said "once bitten twice shy", for me it was "once bitten never shy".

Then again, I am thankful for the pain that I went through & the scars that are still left there because they make up who I am today.
& yes I love The One that I serve, He has never failed me & I know that His faithfulness, endures forever.

I, have got a backbone stronger than yours.

Okay now everyone should make me their role model.

Jokes aside & on a very heavy note, I'm having a toothache again, you won't be able believe the amount of candies I ate yesterday.
Grrrreat job done Stac-io, you can go bang your head against a tree now.

Then on a lighter note (hahah), I'm so looking forward to the weekend, I get to see someone in action again after suchhhh a long time!

Okay goodbye fellow Earthlings, it's 5.30 now & I gotta run, it'll be great to catch some shots before the sun goes down (:

2008-01-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

I'm so sick of being so stupid & believing that you'll someday, come back.

2008-01-21T11:43:00.000-08:00

Did I say, that I had such a wonderrrrful time catching up with Sunshine, prata was great though I almost fell over from dinner, & it was so nice of him to send me all the way back home (:

I wonder when's the next time I'll be seeing him again, both of us are so caught up with the different things that are going on in our lives, & sometimes we don't have anything left in us, we can't even breathe, that annoying emptiness can be so, torturing.

Life can be such a bitch at times & how I wish I could just put a leash on it.

I want my eyebrow piercing. Damn.

2008-01-20T17:18:00.000-08:00

That little corner in my heart's for you

I have a total of 65 pictures from prawning today, & (obviously) right now I am too lazy to upload all of them, so you people have to be patient! :D

Have I ever said how much I adore thinking while I'm on the bus?
Many people tell me that they can never think straight while they're on the bus because it's too noisy & they always get distracted by the people.
Perhaps I am the only weird one around but I love it when I can just sit, shut the world out with the MP3 in my ears, watch the rest of the world go by & think.

My thoughts take me out of this world & sometimes they just seem to race through my mind like it's racing in F1, it can be kind of overwhelming but I guess I do like it & I'm already pretty much used to it, funny thing is, I can never seem to remember what exactly I think about.

I hate it when things/people disrupt my train of thoughts (see why I get agitated when someone nudges me when I'm thinking), that why for most of the time I wished that I could just stay on the bus.

No it's okay you really don't have to get what's going through my mind because sometimes I really don't get myself too.

Sigh, look at me, I'm going depressed all over again.

2008-01-19T10:16:00.000-08:00

HELLO MY DEAR TRAVIS IF YOU SEE THIS PLEASE TELL ME WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU.

(& I seriously mean, WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU?!)

2008-01-18T20:16:00.000-08:00

Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly

Just in case you guys were wondering why I'm such a happy little girl, it's because I've gotten permission to submit photography work instead of doing painting/sculpturing, pursuading the teacher was so much easier than I thought it would be.

On top of that, I managed to find someone who's willing to borrow me a manual camera, all within that day.
(YAY thank you WenKai I promise I'll treat you to lunch if I score a distinction :D)

I know I'm probably going to spend a bombbbb, it costs about 30 cents to develop ONE pathetic picture, & I guess if I want to I can easily take up to 100, or maybe even 200...
The other down side of using manual cameras is that after I develop the picture & I don't like the colour/contrast, I'd have to scan it into the computer, edit it, then develop the picture out again.

But gosh can you believe it, I'm like on first step to watching my wildest dreams come true.

On Wednesday Fiona & I were talking about the O's results that would be coming out soon, & I don't know how we got to talking about Howard but yes we got there, & on my way home I was just thinking back, & some of the things kind of made me smile.
He was a great guy, I guess it was just because of our completely different set of thinking that led to the many misunderstandings.
I never really belonged into his world & he could never get my thoughts.
Right now it really doesn't matter if he still has the same opinion of me or not, to him I might have been faking it all along but that's okay because I know that I had stayed true to myself.
One thing that I'm sure of is that I've forgotten about how much I gave my heart & how much it hurt me when it was over, maybe I do see him as a friend, or maybe not, but I don't regret anything, the greatest mistake was sacrificing the friendship we once shared.

I just hope he's making the most out of his life (:

That aside, I'm down with flu & it suckssss, what a lousy timing the flu bug's got, but it beats falling sick during the CNY period.

I like bananas!

2008-01-15T20:45:00.000-08:00

STACY IS A VERY HAPPY GIRL :D

Thank you Daddy in Heaven, it was all possible because of you (:

Oh God this is so overwhelming, I can't believe that I'm really taking my first step to reaching my dreams.

2008-01-14T00:46:00.000-08:00

Do you guys remember this song?

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

Outside it's now raining
& tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen?
Why did it all have to end?

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

I have your arms around me
Woah, like fire
But when I open my eyes,
You're gone

I'm a big big girl, in a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do do feel, that I too too will
Miss you much, miss you much

I'm a big big girl, In a big big world
It's not a big big thing, if you leave me
But I do feel, that I will, miss you much

Miss you much...

2008-01-13T11:29:00.000-08:00

Oniichama is stupid.
Channel 5 is showing the Juventus match later, which is the delayed telecast, so obviously the net would already have the results.
Despite telling himself not to go onto soccernet, he just went on it & now he knows the score - which is, a draw.

So oniichama is upset now.

Baka.

That aside, I seriously think that Marcus Lim can sing, I had the privilege of hearing him sing because he was doing his Liturature project in the PA room today :D

On the way to Paragon today Tabbi, Steph & I were talking about our hopes & dreams, & now thinking back it kind of makes me sad.
Do you remember the time when you were able to hold the whole universe together with your dreams confidently in your hands?
When your primary school teacher asked you what was your ambition, you'd simply go "I want to be a police/doctor/pilot."
But now when somebody asks you who you want to be in the future, a whole long list of things comes out & you have so much to consider, like how you're going to reach for your dreams & how you're going to overcome the many obstacles.
After we got off the bus we suddenly ended up talking about politics, I don't remember ever doing that at 5, we just listened to the adults talk not knowing what on earth it's all about, all we knew was our ABCs, all we'd talk about was our new barbie dolls & we never had to face or talk about things like these & it's really sad because it just tells me that we've really lost that innocence of a little kid.

For me, I always said I wanted to be a Veterinarian.
What did you tell your teacher when they asked about you ambition?

On a lighter note, dinner at Spageddies was awesome, all hell breaks loose & it was cheese here cheese there cheese everywhere, the 3 of us went berserkkkk, even our garlic bread was covered in cheese.
I was almost rolling over from dinner, was so full I felt that I didn't have to eat anymore for at least a week, but when I came home I started munching on the packet of chips that was on the dining table.

& CNY is just around the corner so hello to xx kg.

2008-01-12T23:22:00.000-08:00

Show me how to love like You, have loved me.

Heidi Baker conference was Awesome!
Her message touched me & it really inspired me to do big things for God (:
She's one powerful woman & she's so filled with love it radiates off her.

During altar call today there was this woman that I didn't know who just came up to me & wrapped her arms around me.
It's rather funny but it was just like she knew how I felt, the words that she said kind of sank into my heart, it's so difficult to even try & explain but at that moment I really felt loved (:

WenKai was going to JB for supper with Dennis (crazy people) & thus I got a free ride back home, & Dennis kind of drives like he's racing in F1, in my mind I was like ahhhh I really don't want to die at such a young age.

OH OH OH YAYYYY RONALDO JUST SCORED!!!!

2008-01-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

我在你心中还剩多少?

2008-01-11T20:59:00.000-08:00

You say, go slow, I fall behind.

I think there's something wrong with me because I could never fall asleep before the clock strikes 12, but nowadays I've been falling asleep when I'm on the phone with Onisan at like, 11?

On a heavier note, my timetable is: Nonsense.
Who the hell has both sciences, & 3 periods of art with maths one after another on the same day, they are probably trying to kill us or something.
On Thursday art & maths totally killed me, I'm really not kidding because when school ended all that filled my mind was Bugis, paintbrushes, distance/time graphs & the annoying a = v-u/t formula.
Not that they had any link but my goodness, it got so bad I couldn't even think straight to save my life.

I think I'm burning out really soon, today when I came home I totally died on the bed, slept all the way till 9 & woke up just in time for dinner (hahah I know I have my dinner at such unearthly timings)

I miss hanging out with my rock-erssss, all of us have been so busy & so caught up with life to actually give each other a call, let alone hang out like what we used to do.
The last time I spoke to Kieran was on New Year's day, I still remember I felt like shit that night & when he answered my call he went, "Hey Tig, I know you're not okay, what's up?"
It's like he can read me like an open book even if I'm not there, but I can promise that I felt so much better after that.

Travis hasn't been calling since I left Malaysia, I don't even know where on earth is he (I'm serious)
But then again I guess there's really no point in making a big hoo-hah because it isn't the first time he just went poof.
It's like he can just disappears into thin air or something.
Sometimes I like doing the same thing too but I swear he's a million times worse, he could even fly off in a plane without saying goodbye.

Just a totally irrelevant note, I have 50 chemical reactions to write & I'm really upset. Period.

2008-01-06T04:51:00.000-08:00

It's not supposed to hurt this way

Goodbye to the holidays, to waking up at 2pm in the afternoon, to CSI in the middle of the night, to impromtu sleepovers at Tabbi's, I'll see you again in 10 months' time & hellllo again, to waking up at 6 am every morning & blue school uniform.

There's so much to adapt to & I don't like it.
I really hate to be pushed out of my comfort zone, but I know that if I want to get to where I want to go I'd have to buck up & put in more effort.

That aside, the food in school is kind of making me digusted, not that it has ever appealed to me but nowadays I don't even feel like taking a step into the canteen, so both Fiona & I end up sitting outside our classroom during recess & listening to my MP3.

I've been feeling so down lately & it really sucks, I hate it when all I feel like doing is sit in a quiet dark corner & just watch the rest of the world go by.
Something just isn't right but I don't know what the hell it is, it's not even supposed to bother me because we're just friends.

I know I cannot ditch my responsibilities, but I really wonder if I'm using escaping as an excuse to run away.
I've been doing this so many times I'm getting sick of it, but then I can't seem to look at this whole matter face to face.

To put it in a sentence: I can't take it.

If only a simple sorry could undo all the hurt & heal every heartbreak, this world would be a much better place to live in.

2008-01-01T06:43:00.000-08:00

If only time flew faster than me falling in love

Oh my it's 2008 already.

If you ask me, I really don't know what to say about 2007.
Eventful, probably, & filled with quite some ups & downs.

But I guess I can't deny the fact that I've learnt quite alot in the previous year, I took some paths that I never should've taken & learnt things the hard way, broke some hearts that I now wish I had a second chance to mend, regretted some things that I've said & done, got into wuite some unecessary trouble & ultimately got myself hurt.

But then again I guess there's really nothing much I can do about it, afterall I can't turn back time.
The only thing I can do now is move on, & along.
I thank God for the scars in my heart because they made me who I am today.

Yesterday during Thanksgiving service I was just thinking back & I was like Stacy why were you such an idiot, however it does make me feel better when I think of how much I've grown mentally, but whether or not growth is enough, that's a question left for in the near future.

Of course, my favourite part.
I never got to go up to really thank the people I wanted to thank because there would always be someone sucking away the time (*cough*John*cough*).
Some people would probably never read this but I guess I really can't think of how else to thank them.

Fiona
Hey best friend, I really thank God for you, even though sometimes you really drive me up the wall, but that's okay I still love you anyway. Remember when we started off our Sec 1 days in this big group? Now there's only the 3 of us left, & you've been a really wonderful friend (: your hyper-ness & your nonsense never fails to cheer me up. Continue to grow in the Lord & remember no matter what I'd be right here for you (:

Cherlynn
The both of us have been through the good & bad times, & I'm really thankful that we managed to break past every circumstance that we faced. Though I really don't know what's going to happen in this year ahead but no matter what I'm going to hold on tight to you (: I'll always be here if you need me (:

Tabbi
Cousin! (: I really thank God for such a wonderful cousin like you, you're always there when I need you, & I'm so sorry for making you listen to me rant about everything & yet nothing at all. Sometimes it's like I don't even have to say a word & you already know what I'm trying to say (: Thank you cousin for everything, I'm only a phonecall away if you ever need me. Love!

Stephanie
Hello anime frrrreak (: I really adore talking rubbish with you & being emo with you (hahah). It's been wonderful to know you & even as we continue in this brand new year I pray that God would bring us closer & that our friendship would grow stronger. Loveya!

Isabella
Really amazes me to see how far you've come, still seems like yesterday when you were still P6 & all of us were sitting in one circle playing cards (& that Sophie sat there for hours) , but anyway, I thank the Lord for giving me such a wonderful friend like you (: thank you for always trying to cheer me up when I feel like poop, & for putting up with my nonsense. I really pray that the Lord would continue to use you for His glory, & no matter what I'd be here for you! (:

Korkor
I really don't know what else to thank you because I've thanked you so many times already. But anyway, thank you for listening to me rant when I needed a listening ear, for seriously being there 24/7, for putting up with my nonsense, for cheering me up when I feel down, for offering help in my schoolwork, for guiding me in my spritual walk with God, for the many times you've paid for my movie tickets (hahah), & I really think that I've really been blessed to have such an wonderful brother like you (: I'd never forget how all of these happened because of one word I uttered. I really thank God for you. In this coming year, Meimei really hope that you'll be filled with His fire even as you take your first step into leadership! Meimei's gonna follow in your footsteps! (hahah)

Joel
We haven't really spoken in such a long time. I do miss the days when we were able to just sit down anywhere & talk about everything, but I guess it's pretty much my fault that things have turned out this way. I'm really sorry for the pain I've caused you, if I had a second chance I'd try to mend your heart. Thank you for all that you've done in the past.

2007-12-30T07:58:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it, in just a couple of hours, it'll be the last day of 2007.

Since Benjamin wasn't around today, Steph & I helped Philip with the scores for MVQ, & when I saw Ben online just now I was like, Hiiii Ben you know, I had such a vun-derful time taking over your job.

Both Isa & I went over to Tabbi's place for dinner today, many thanks to her parents I'm now hooked on Heroes, can't wait for Volume 3 to be out!

I honestly think that Sylar, is, sizzlin', hotttt (It's such a pity he had to be the bad guy).

2007-12-29T23:12:00.000-08:00

Both Annabella & I are very, very, upset.

But that aside, I think Joel & Benett are the cutest brothers, ever.
Watching them play was so entertaining, I really couldn't do anything but smile (:
Halfway through I suddenly remembered the other time when I saw them sleeping side by side in JG camp & I was like, "awwww" (:

2007-12-29T07:11:00.000-08:00

"Waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drough. Useless, & disappointing."

Don't kill me just yet.

Dinner @ Isa's

Hello Flippy (:

When I am in the mood to be stupid.

"Hi Philip, hi Sammmm!"

Stephanie Loh Si En (:

Hahah Sam, very funny.

Christmas carolling

& this smile's, for you.

Le' cousin!

With Ryan, Ben & cousin (:

Hahah Glen!

Warner :D

Wenkai (:

Joel 3 (:

Annual party was a blastttt, can't believe it but I actually managed to get to Joel Yong's place allll by myself (I got lost last year).
Caught A Cinderella's Story & I had so much fun playing Insaniquarium & listening to Alaster talk to himself while the rest were watching 28 Days Later downstairs, I would've stayed for the night but Felicia had something on early today so blahhhh.

I feel like playing Insaniquarium again!

2007-12-27T19:13:00.000-08:00

I wish I could find you just like how you found me

Too many things remind me of that silly little smile you had.
It's funny but sometimes I still get the same old feeling when I feel you near, I still smile when I think about the happy times we've shared, & I hate to say this but there's something in you that makes it really hard for me to stay, even harder to run out.

You know me well enough to know that I never give up without putting up a fight.
I myself thought that I've changed & I'd never go back, but apparently time proved me wrong.

There were too many misunderstandings left behind & I want to clear my name, there's alot to say, & I have to speak up but I'd only do so if you let me.
I know there are alot of things for you to sort out, for you to think through.
You've all the time in the world but I don't.
I've done all that I can & I've already stepped out -- I'm waiting for you to make the next.

Perhaps it's just that something I can't leave behind, but I found a reason.

You.

You are why.

2007-12-26T17:14:00.000-08:00

Hi Santa, is he my Christmas present?

Yesterday really didn't feel like it was Christmas to me.
But anyway, thank you all for the Merry Christmas wishes & the sweet little gifts, I really appreciate it (:

Friendster is finally working, Chia Wai must've taught it a lesson yesterday night, that's why it decided to be nice to me today (hahah).

Managed to catch Enchanted today with korkor, I think he was being extra nice to me by offering to come all the way to the North & to pay for the movie tickets just because he pissed me off on Monday.

Anyway, Enchanted is such a happy little show, it made me feel all warm & fuzzy inside (:
I'm hooked on Ever Ever After, the song is currently stuck in my head & it won't go away.

I decided to do some shopping of my own after Korkor left for dinner with his parents, & I was so drop dead happy when I stumbled upon the Little Miss Whoops tee that I wanted, I was just about to give up looking for the tee because I couldn't find it anywhere over the Blogshops.

When I got home, I told Korkor that I managed to get the shirt, &...

• Stacy /} I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes, says:
but i think it's gonna be darn stupid if i wear the tee out & then i walk into a wall or something
±Яoѕicky.--\™ meh-ve [[ 10 ]]... lollipers(: says:
haha, then it will be more classic then meimei banging into the sensor(:

He just had to -.-

I doubt I'd wear that shirt if I'm going out with Korkor, otherwise if I really do trip & fall or something he's going to make me his personal joke.

On a rather irrelevant note, Korkor is leaving for Vietnam in 12 hours' time & he just started packing, he's going as a millionaire anyway (hahah), I hope he remembers my Man. Utd jersey if he finds it...

What a bummer, this is already my last week of my holidays.
Sometimes I can't bring myself to believe how time flies.

2008 would be a brand new year, a brand new beginning.
I really don't know what lies ahead or what setbacks I'll face, but all I know is that:

My God, is bigger.

2007-12-23T22:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night I was looking through my stuff, mostly the cards that the many people have given to me over the years, & I stumbled upon one particular card written by someone last Christmas, this someone was someone whom I had been really close to, so close that I gave him a part of my heart.

The card read:
"Hey Stacy, glad to know you're back on track with everything. We all say Christmas is a time of thanksgiving right? So I want to say thanks for being a great friend through the few years I've known you. When you go back to school hope you don't go haywire! By the way, I think you're quite lively, haha... And... STOP TOUCHING MY HAIR!!"

I smiled at the, stop touching my hair, part.

It brought back quite alot of memories, it's funny because when I first got to know him I hated him right to the very core because he said something wrong, but then with time my impression of him changed & we became rather good friends, I still remember vividly how I'd take every chance I could to mess up his hair, then in turn he'd chase me all over the place just to get back at me.

We simply followed our hearts & I believe the rest is history.

Things, of course, were nowhere near this screwed at that point of time, & honestly if I knew things would become like this I wouldn't let myself fall deeper.

There is alot that I want to say, but then I don't know where to begin.

That aside, on a lighter note, I managed to finish baking & packing the cookies yesterday night (though I only finished at like, 3 am)
I was so tired after all of the packing, I think I fell asleep once my head hit the pillow.

I really wonder what is it with me & heels, the first time was during D&D when my heel got stuck in the drain, the second time the strap snapped, & today my heel totally gave way when I was jumping around in Powerhouse, I need to go shopping for new heels like, asap.

Dinner at Isa's was grrrreat, I had so much fun being camwhores with Steph, playing the "jumping" game (apparently the craze is still on even after camp), looking at Sam then bursting out into laughter, munching on Hershey's with Philip, & pictures would be uploaded soon once I get them from my dearest Stephanie Loh Si En.

I can't believe it this is like the last week of my holidays, time flew like a dove & I really have no idea where all my homework is, they're probably in a quiet, dark corner of my closet rotting away.

YAY ANNUAL PARTY AT JOEL YONG'S PLACE THIS FRIDAY YAY YAY YAY YAYYYYYY!

2007-12-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

I really don't understand how some other girls (like Jasmine) can shop from day to night, I think I'd never be able to do that, my legs & back would kill me.

I pretty much shop like a guy, I only go shopping when I have to get something, & no I don't go into every other store just to "check out the stuff", I'd only walk in if something catches my eye, & I guess that's what makes it so easy for me to just drag Kieran or Evan out to go shopping with me, they never have to complain or go "hurry up", all they have to do is just to carry my bags (:

A couple of hours in the mall with korkor today was enough to kill my back, it got so bad that at one point I had to get korkor to carry my bag for me (hahah), I was so sick of walking up & down the mall but nonetheless it was still really nice to go shopping for someone you love/care about, you really don't get to do this everyday.

Christmas shopping was fruitful, otherwise.

I got (almost) everyone's stuff, & I'm done wrapping them up, tomorrow I've just got to rush out the cards & finish baking the cookies.

Oh & today, I walked straight into a sensor that was at the entrance of The Wallet Shop at Marina (you know the funny rectangular thing that has an alarm that would go off if you bring any unpaid merchandise past it)

The story goes, like this:
The younger sister was at The Wallet Shop together with her older brother & she was looking at some really neat wallets that costs a bomb (like 89.90, if you want to know what I mean), just as they were about to leave the store a pretty pink purse caught her eye & she was looking at it, obviously she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking because she suddenly banged into the sensor, the next thing she knew her older brother was laughing his ass off & asking if she's okay.

What a bummer, next time I won't be able to tease korkor about how he banged into a wall when he was 8, because knowing him he'll probably use this incident that happened today back on me.

It still, doesn't, feel like Christmas, to me.

2007-12-20T23:59:00.001-08:00

Halfway through the movie I completely went unconcious on Tabbi's couch, slept all the way till 930 & I feel like an idiot right now because I know I won't be able to sleep tonight.

During this 4 days I ditched the whole wide world & gave myself completely to God, it felt so good to be able to worship Him with all of my heart & soul.
I know I'm in good hands & during the camp God took away one of my greatest fear, it's seriously a miracle in me & it's felt great going back into His arms, it really amazes me when I think about the many times I strayed away & the many times I've turned away & broke His heart, yet everytime I return He's always, always, there.

It's really funny because I can still remember the first day I was half dreading camp & now I don't want it to end.
Still it feels great to be home, or rather it's great to have the heater, at least there won't be anymore cold baths in the morning for quite some time.

Although the rain did sort of dampen my mood, the weather was near perfect for sleeping at night, but in the mornings it was nuts, I'll go I'm so cold I'm about to freeze, & Philip would be like, ahhhhh the weather is so cooling.

Yesterday night was the night, we had the whole plot laid out but our group's skit was a really impromptu one, we only had time for 2 rehearsals & then tadah, it's the real thing.
Kang (aka Aladdin, LOL) was hilllllarious, I thought I'd die laughing or something, especially at the part where Aladdin rescues Princess Jasmine from Team Rocket (LOL), the both of us were supposed to sing the chorus of Way Back Into Love, but Kang went totally off, & I had to try SO hard not to burst out laughing.

Hopi, with their Beauty & the (Persevering?) Beast clinched the top.
(When they were acting Korkor actually asked me if I felt like strangling "Belle" & I was like ARE YOU CRAZY)

Later into the night Tabbi, Lynn & I were outside star gazing, the 3 of us had such fun talking things that made no sense & giggling away, then out of nowhere the guys appeared & before we knew it the 3 of us were caught in the middle of the chaos, it seriously scared me but I guess I'm glad that it's all over.

Korkor forced (yes, forced) me back into the room at 3, but Yingyan, Isa, Steph, Tabbi & I bitched all the way past 4, untill I eventually resorted to sleeping so as to get somebody out of my head.

Unsurprisingly this morning I woke up feeling like I had a hangover, I downed a cup of Milo with 2 packets of Milo powder which helped & made me feel better, sugar always helped for me in situations like this, but it contribute nothing to my throat.
To state the obvious, I went on a sugar rush, for the whole ride back to church I was so hyped up I felt like I'd burst if I didn't get rid of all that energy.

Christmas is just around the corner, but say really it doesn't feel like that's the case to me.
Going to do some last minute shopping with Korkor tomorrow (later?), it's 3.03 in the morning & I still, don't feel sleepy at all.

2007-12-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

& all I want for Christmas is,

Camp was grrrreat, 4 days flew by just like that, made new friends & of course, caught up with those that I haven't spoken to in a long time.

Though the first day was pretty screwed for me, things picked up & I can't deny the fact that I had a blast.
Both Kang & Steph were wonderful leaders & even though Acolapissa didn't make it to the top 3, it's alright because it's not like we never tried, we did all that we could & I'm sure that all of us had fun (:

Slacking at Tabbi's right now, together with Isa & Steph, they're watching some chick flick while I'm sitting infront of the computer.

I'd blog again when I get home, pictures would be updated once I get them from Kang/Edna/Felicia/Pris! :D

2007-12-16T17:39:00.000-08:00

I, seriously think that I am nocturnal.

I stayed awake throughout Friday & I slept at 8 on the Saturday morning & eventually got up around 1, & yesterday night after I reached home I was so exhausted I totally collapsed on the bed & I woke up at 2 in the damned wee hours, after that I couldn't fall back asleep so I decided to watch The Champion on Youtube & I've been awake all the way untill now.

3 beautiful days, & I survived on only 8 pathetic hours of sleep.

Korkor is currently going nuts because I accidentally blurted out the fact that I haven't eaten anything at all since I got up yesterday at 2 /:

That aside, I was supposed to go poncho (& candy) shopping with Yaohui today, but rehearsal for the Christmas skit ended wayyyy too late, & he had to go back home for dinner so in the end I went candy shopping alone, hopefully it'll be enough to last us through 4 days.

Just finished packing my things, doesn't feel like camp's tomorrow.

WHERE'S THE YAYYYY-IT'S-JG-CAMP-TOMORROW FEELING WHEN I NEED IT.

2007-12-15T23:05:00.000-08:00

!#$^$*%)$&@!? FLOP.

The group names, suck.
They all sound like screwed Pokemon/Digimon names.
Please tell me what the hell is Acolapissa, & I would honestly love to see the committee form cheers from a name like San Juan, it's seriously not like all of us could poof something out of thin air just like that.

I AM SO UPSET. PERIOD.

2007-12-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

Say it if it's worth saving me

WHY, HAVE THE CAB FARES GONE UP AGAIN I AM SO UPSET AT THIS & THUS I HAVE DECIDED THAT I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE CABS ANYMORE.

JG Camp's just 2 days away, funny but I don't even feel excited this year.
I've just decided to start packing, but I'll probably end up rushing & throwing everything into the bag tomorrow night.

On a more irrelevant note, my fringe is getting so irritating.
I was THIS close to having my hair chopped off last week but I backed out at the very last minute because I realised that all the efforts to keep my hair long would go down the drain, moreover it'll be such a painful & agonizing process to wait for my hair to grow back.

I want to play Rock Fever.

2007-12-14T23:50:00.000-08:00

Now you're gone, now you're gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere you're not coming back

Earlier today mummy & I were talking about M, who passed away when I was younger.

I've been so caught up with life that M was pushed to the back of my mind.
However tonight I found myself thinking about him, & life would be so different for both mummy & I if M was still around.
If there was a way I'd let him know that I still think about him, he was such a big part of me & when he left I broke apart.

Perhaps it's just a part of me that'll never change, so many years have gone by, but I realised that the wound, has never healed.

This pain is so real, it's so hard to bear at times.
Maybe at one point or another, all of us would have to learn to deal with this, this gaping hole that'll never close up.

2007-12-14T22:30:00.000-08:00

Back home, missing mummy & the life back at the place that has becomed so familiar to me.

Apologies for going MIA for so long without a single update, Travis had his laptop with him but the connection was so screwed up, we couldn't even stay online for more than a minute.

That aside, more about the trip, 2 Thursdays back I woke up to the mahogany of someone's eyes & I GOT THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE, initially I thought it was Chester (Mummy's adorable Yorkie), but when I realised it was my favourite "egg-juggler" I was like, hello you, what an interesting way of yours to say hi, & he went hi pig, it's already 3 in the afternoon -.-

& oh yes, my mum, is nuts.
She's probably the only one in this whole world that'll stay up till 2 in the morning to cook liquid detergent over the fire.
Apparently she was ransacking through the kitchen cabinet 2 Saturdays back & she found this bottle of concentrated liquid detergent that is at least 4 years old (I can't believe my mum at times), all that detergent has already becomed this green, jelly-like stuff, & mummy proceeded to squeeze the entire content into a pot & cook it over the fire, saying something like melting the detergent, Travis, Mayleen & I just stood there & watch my mum like she's mad.

Interestingly, that bottle of detergent did melt back into it's original liquid state & mummy is now happily using it to wash her dishes.

Not forgetting the freak thunderstorm that hit the area, there was minor flooding & for 3 days I was half living under the blanket (that's only because mummy's closet has no room for me to hide in), & one fine day mummy went, let's go shopping & I was like ARE YOU CRAZY I'll die in this storm.
Travis & I both fell sick halfway during the trip, Mummy forbade us out at night & since it was near impossible to go out anyway, the both of us stayed in to watch CSI untill 5 for 4 straight days, accompanied with Mayleen & Alun.

It was so much fun catching up with some of the cousins I haven't spoken to in so long, all of us have changed so much over the years, seemed like yesterday when we were still young kids digging for earthworms & catching grasshoppers.

This is random, but imagine what would your mum do if you screamed the F word from the end of the house.

Mine would probably look at me with a raised eyebrow & go back to what she was doing, or maybe she'd shout the F word back (hahah).

Sometimes I really don't feel like mummy, is my mum.
She seems more like a girlfriend to me, a girlfriend that I could bare my soul to, when I'm with her I could just say anything I want, & the both of us could just go on talking about everything, anything, & yet nothing at all.

I'm so drained from the trip, I've been sleeping at 5, 6, 7 am every night, & waking up at only 4 in the afternoon, have no idea how I'm going to sleep tonight, youth camp musician practice tomorrow, oh my gosh my throat.

2007-11-26T13:26:00.000-08:00

So why can't I just tell you that I care

This would probably be my last post before I leave, Daddy doesn't want me to take the camera with me so I'm sorry, no pictures this time round.
Travis would be coming back from Australia today, after he visit his parents he'll be driving from here Mummy's place, if he has his camera & laptop with him I guess I'll be able to do some updating (:

& I hope this time round there won't be a repeat of juggling-the-eggs, dear Travis.

Bye larl-lings, love y'all!

& make sure y'all don't forget me!

2007-11-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

You're standing at the door, I'm falling to the floor

I may be crawling over broken glass just to get to you, & I may not be the same as before, but I am still, everything that she's not.

I'm sorry if any of you had expected me to break down & cry.
The last time I let all of you have your way, I hurt a heart needlessly & I had to tear myself apart.
There were so many misunderstandings, & untill now I still don't know where to start.
This time round you'll have to shoot me dead before I'd give up, otherwise I won't walk away without putting up a good fight & giving it my best shot.

Like it or not, this is Stacy, for you.

2007-11-25T23:32:00.000-08:00

My head is spinning but my heart is in the right place

3 cheers for Stacy, I survived leading dance today!

My dearest P2 girls are so crazy over Joel, I promise.
During contact cell today I had to threaten them by saying that I'll go to him & get him over before they would keep quiet & pay attention to the lesson.

Apparently our "natural born actor" is, "too loved".

The time now is 3.52 AM & in less than 12 hours I'd be leaving Singapore, believe it or not I've yet to finish packing my things.

2007-11-24T23:59:00.000-08:00

Would've bled to make you happy, you didn't need to treat me that way

I hate me for putting myself in such turmoil, because I know I'm not obliged to care.
& sometimes it's so heartbreaking, I can't even bring myself to look.

The only way that I can show you how much I care, is by putting all the blame on me & making it seem like I hate you, right down to the core.

2007-11-24T23:27:00.000-08:00

Six foot tall, came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead

I'm back, with a slight bump on my forehead, chipped nail polish, rather nasty aches, a broken toenail, & throughly exhausted ):

I was supposed to meet Fiona for lunch at 1230 today, & I received a sms from her at 1215 saying: I just woke up -.-

The whole event was fun, yay, though I got rather pissed off at some parts.
It was nice having Fiona around, afterall we haven't met up in so long, it was nice catching up, listening to her talk rubbish was rather entertaining (:

Love you stupid Bangladeshi best friend!

[edit]

Just received a Friendster comment from Wenkai that says:
Pro-ed captain's ball skill display there by miss stayC hahahaha almost kanna trashed by her and her gang, lucky got me to balance the game heehee

-.-

Hahah Kai, hahah.

[/edit]

2007-11-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

Currently in a conversation with Fiona & this guy called Raymond (aka tinylittleturtle HAHAHAH), he wants to form an anti-fastfood team because the pay they offer is too low.

& he seems to be almost serious about forming the team -.-

Feeling feverish, & my throat is killing me, JG Sports Day tomorrow, hopefully I'll feel better by then, looking forward to it but NOT looking forward to breaking my nails.

(Maybe mummy would want to do acrylic nail extensions for me...)

2007-11-22T01:19:00.000-08:00

There's something about you, & you don't even know it

The both of us have once tried, & failed.
I never wanted to say the things that I didn't mean, when I made it seem like I was moving on, I was all along rooted at the same spot.
I forgot how it ended up like this, I was supposed to save some dignity for myself, somehow I just eventually found myself going with the flow, & I wasn't even looking back.

I thought I could just ditch everything & forget about all that has happened.

But it was so complicated, so messed up, I couldn't even find the words to explain it to myself.

Maybe it was the look in your eyes, or the smile on your face.

Or maybe it has just been me, all along.

Everyone knows once I move on I'd never look back.
This time maybe, just maybe, I'll be breaking the rules that I had set for myself.

The one consequence?
I'll probably get my heart broken all over again.

2007-11-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

Hello sexy voice!

I can't believe myself, I slept at 5 yesterday & this morning I actually got up at 7 (note: 2 hours of sleep!!!) & I still had enough time to down a cup of coffee before leaving the house.

Met the older brother at Lavender MRT before going to church, & when we were there we realised that we had absolutely no idea who our musicians were so we had to go around hunting for people, & as if that wasn't bad enough, everyone was all over the place & perhaps it was due to the pathetic amount of sleep I had, or maybe it was because the caffeine hadn't kicked it, but I got rather pissed off & I almost, very nearly, screamed at someone who was getting in my way.

Felt better, eventually.
Today was definitely a first & before that I was still telling Kang about how nervous I felt, & YES I did make a few blunders here & there, but then I can't deny the fact that I had fun being like a little kid, together with the older brother & Warren.

Thank you Kang for being such a wonderful assistant leader & for all the help but no thanks for leaving me alone to deal with the 14 kids from team Yellow halfway.

After Kang left I had to do a "one lady show", I had SUCH a difficult time controlling the kids & I lost count of how many times I had to shout at them, probably like 12543759604 times or something, & that probably explains why I have this, husky, sexayyyye, voice.
The kids were so noisy & I had this really nasty headache, to make things worst I didn't have any Panadol with me, I was THIS close to breaking point, I promise.

Didn't expect myself to last all the way untill the end of today's program, but by God's grace, tadah (:

I have a very good feeling that I'll wake up in the afternoon tomorrow.

2007-11-20T23:38:00.000-08:00

You were finished long before we had even seen the start

Despite the lousy weather, I still made my way down to Pasir Ris, part of the reason for that decision was because Dickson already made me promise to go.

The stupid bus was freeeezing, my poor fingers were so numb I had to take a full minute just to reply Fiona's sms, & when she told me she wasn't staying over for the Sports Camp I was so agitated I think I would've strangled her if at that moment she was right infront of me, I was like IS THERE SUCH A THING IF YOU'RE NOT STAYING IN SCHOOL THEN WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU GOING FOR THE CHALET!?!!

Dickson was so random today, when I was enjoying my drink he suddenly came up to me & went something like, YAY Stacy we're both wearing green today, & I'm like, yes, hahah.

While the guys were swimming & getting on the lifeguard's nerves (on purpose), Amelia & I were laughing away at Dickson & bitching about the, bitch, I had SUCH a fun time & Amelia is such a sweet girl, I promise.

Sudden thunderstorm totally caught me off guard & I got so freaked out, sometimes it really sucks to be keraunophobic, but I really can't help but get scared, it's been like this ever since, God-knows-when.
Thankfully the rain stopped while I was on the bus, when I was walking from the bus stop back home I had such, a wonderful time stepping into puddles.

Ahhhh leading worship tomorrow together with Korkor & Warren, I'm getting the jitters already!

2007-11-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought I'd hit the bottom.

My tourniquet, my One & Only.

2007-11-20T03:50:00.000-08:00

Hahah I secretly find this very entertaining.

I wonder how long he took to master this...

Just a moment ago I was telling Leandra about this & I casually mentioned that people like them have too much time to spare, & her reaction was humongous, she went something like "I think they're talented! Or maybe you're just jealous because you're slow & you can't pick it up."

I'm slow ):

2007-11-19T23:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday after I made an impromtu decision to stayover at Tabbi's, I decided to go home to get my stuffs & le frère plus âgé actually accompanied me back home all the way from church, waited for me while I took my own sweet time to pack my things (actually I wanted to hide from the thunderstorm outside), then took the train with me to Toa Payoh, before he went back down to City Hall to meet his family for dinner.

Ahhhh what would I do without le frère plus âgé!

Bitching session was gooood.
Even though Tabbi fell asleep, Isa & I actually talked for 4 straight hours, untill we eventually went to sleep at 330, hahah.

We talked about so many things & almost all of it made me miss someone especially much /:
(Don't jump to conclusions, because this person may not be who you think it is, heehee!)

I love m'ladies!

Watched Mission Impossible: 3 again this afternoon, & I think Tom Cruise is so, hot.

I've been reading so many random articles on Wikipedia, I seriously think I'm getting smarter day by day (heehee).

2007-11-19T14:40:00.000-08:00

What if I said, I love you.

2007-11-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

Could you remind me of a time when we felt so alive, do you remember that?

Yesterday night when I was on the phone with the older brother I totally tripped over the floor & fell.

Go ahead & make me your personal joke.

Hahah now thinking about it I feel so dumb, but then again at the same time I'm really amused at how I can amuse myself, I seriously think I'm the only person who can trip over the, floor.

(I can already picture Fiona sitting infront of her computer reading all of this & laughing at me)

& OH have I ever said how much I adore baby food, just a moment ago I was enjoying my apple & banana cereal when my mum came into the room,

Mum: Haven't you had your dinner, what's that you're eating?
Me: Oh, baby food.

My mum then gave me that usual, I-think-you're-nuts, look.

Anyway, today I went for lunch together with my family to celebrate grandad's birthday, & on the way home from JG I was just thinking of how quickly time flies, when I was this reeeaalllyyy young girl grandad always used to fetch me from the kindergarten, & he was always the one to take me to the playgrounds & push me on the swings.
When I was 6, grandad went to China for a holiday & I remember before he left I cried really really hard & I literally begged him to take me with him, because I thought he'd adore the life there so much he wouldn't come back to Singapore anymore, & I'd never get to see him again.
Come to think of it, I was such a spoilt brat then, I really wonder how grandad could put up with all of my hissy-fits.

On my 15th birthday, grandad got me a Barbie doll & when he gave me the present I thought it was rather ridiculous because for all I know 15 year old girls don't bother about Barbie dolls, but when grandad told me, "you'll always be the same 5 year old girl who'd drag me to the toys section to look at Barbie dolls", I cried.
I really cried.

I can remember all of it so vividly, it's like I was 5 just yesterday & take a look at me now, it's as if I already have a life of my own.
I don't see grandad as often as I used to & this short time away he seemed to have aged so much, it really breaks my heart to know that one day he'll be gone.
It's funny but we almost never learn to treasure untill something is gone, I've been there before & I really hate that feeling, I don't want to regret only when grandad's not here anymore.

I should stop taking things for granted, because when it comes to this the last thing I have to spare is,

Time.

2007-11-16T23:50:00.000-08:00

Hello bitch I can't believe I'm wasting this post on you, but your, "boyfriend", has just told me that the both of you were never together & from the very start he has made it clear that he's not interested in you, but still you threw yourself at him.

Set.

I emphasize on the, you threw yourself at him.

Game.

& you, tried to put me on the guilt trip, tried to make me feel bad about myself for having fun that night.

Match.

I apologise but your "boyfriend", isn't really your, boyfriend, & I believe he has every right to choose who he wants to be around with, without your approval, madamoselle.

I win.

2007-11-16T00:45:00.000-08:00

I think I've already realised that I'm not obliged to show my care or concern, I just don't understand how you can be so nonchalent about it. I want to get rid of the awkwardness but damn it I've come to a point where I don't even know how to try. It's bloody pathetic because I know I've never been like this before. I don't like it when I let the pain attack my heart over & over again but yet I don't know how to stop the way I feel.

Some people are just such whores themselves & yet they can still call me a bitch. That night we were all just having fun & perhaps I was dancing a little to close to your boyfriend but what the hell I'm sure you yourself have seen how crowded that dancefloor was, moreover he didn't even tell me he was attached & I don't suppose that's my fault. In the first place this whole thing had absolutely nothing to do with me, so please stop using me as an excuse & putting the blame on me when things are going wrong for the both of you.

I'm so upset at the world.

2007-11-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

Marcus's PM reads:
the problem with having 3 dogs is not knowing which one to scold when you find shit on your foot.

HAHAH!

2007-11-14T23:20:00.000-08:00

Okay I think I'm seriously mood-swinging because just a moment ago I was reading my previous post & I was like, oh gosh Stacy you depressed little girl.

That aside, my whole body is terribly aching now, must be the result of last night, but I can promise it was a blast!

When I first stepped into K/D's place, my jaw dropped.
All, & I mean ALL, of the furniture were gone!
I freaked out & I was like what the hell did you do to everything, he then took me to one of the rooms, & I felt like such a dork because everything was inside -.-

Made a couple of new friends throughout the night, & some of them are such fun people to be around with, they didn't believe that I wasn't even of age yet & I promise their reaction was so hilarious when I showed them my I/C.

Had a couple of drinks here & there, but I pretty much tried to stay away from them, I didn't want to repeat my *cough* stars *cough* incident again (okay Fiona Neo Wenqi please stop laughing).

Halfway through the night when we were sitting around, Ivy said something about Attica & I promised her if there were no fights going on there I'd lip-lock with her Britney/Madonna style.
Say really it's pretty much predictable, when you have so many of them all in one club.

& as for the rest of the night, I shall not bother to elaborate on the things I've done, but all I can say is that they were pretty... Indecent.

Caught the first train home, thanks Benji for being such a sweetheart (:

[edit]

I was told that the police actually went to Attica & stopped the whole event at 2 AM -.-

See Kieran, ...

[/edit]

2007-11-14T05:08:00.000-08:00

So many things/people have been upsetting me.

It makes me feel like shit because I know I can do better than this.
I don't want to admit defeat, but I just don't want, to feel, anymore.

2007-11-13T00:25:00.001-08:00

I want to hurt you.
I want to break you.
I want to tear you apart.

I hate you.

Fuck these people. Fuck the shit out of them.

2007-11-12T23:46:00.000-08:00

I received a call from Evie just now & she was screaming to me asking if I'm going to Attica tomorrow (yes, screaming) & I was like ARE YOU CRAZY why would I want to be in a club with all the bengs & lians...

She replied saying something like, "imagine yourself trying to dance with all of the bengs & lians squeezing up to you showing off their Para moves."

HAHAHAH!

Moreover, I wouldn't want to miss the private party at K/D's tonight, nobody's going to care if I'm of age or not, no irritating bouncers to say "no photos allowed", there's going to be goooood music, free-flow of drinks & what's more: tonight I'm invited as a VIP.

Can you believe it, A VIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

When one of your best friends is someone like K/D (:

2007-11-12T21:52:00.000-08:00

Have you no shame, don't you see me

At 12 AM, I was helping le frère plus âgé with his 1000 word essay on wetland reserves.

What a way to start off the 1 year anniversary.

While waiting for Sam & Tabbi the both of us combed the entire Marina Centre, he bought a shirt from Topman & now I really wonder what the hell was wrong with me because I did no shopping at all -.-

& oh the both of us seriously thought that Sam & Tabbi got lost, I had doubts that they knew the handphones they have in their possessions aren't toys, but eventually I figured that they were probably enjoying, being lost. (Teehee)

Okay fine they got there anyway.

Seoul Garden was terrificccc, & oh yes I really liked the veggies (hahah).
Thank you le frère plus âgé, for the treat (:

After walking from Marina to the Merlion (to use the freaking toilet!!!), & after Sam & Tabbi left for who-knows-where, we made an impromtu plan to catch a movie & SO we walked alllll the way to Suntec because Marina had lousy timings.

Caught The Bee Movie & it is a lousy show.
Even though the characters were rather cute but YES it is, a lousy show.

After the show I said something like "what if one day a bee sees me eating honey & decides to sue me & all of mankind for extortion" & le frère plus âgé totally, gave me the "are you crazy", look.

Hahah whateverrrrr.

2007-11-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

Are you still too weak to survive, your mistakes?

HAPPY SWEET 16 TO JASMINE!

Hey Honey, though we haven't met up in so long, you know that I'm still here for you!

I totally caught the older brother "strumming a guitar" when he was co-leading worship with Pastor Jon, & I thought I was such a goon, I really don't know why I found it funny but I had to literally bite myself just to keep me from laughing out loud.

Today felt like such a long day, from PH dance to co-leading PH worship with Wenkai, & just when I thought I could take a break, sit down in a corner with my MP3 & pay abit of attention to my books, I realised that I had to do MV with Steph, & immediatly after that I had to go for Contact Cell.

& no my heels didn't make things any better.

Went to PS with Steph, go ahead & guess what we had for dinner but my apologies because no prizes would be given for the correct answer.

& OH, on the way home, the MRT was so quiet that for a moment I thought that everyone could hear the Evanescence's song (talk about being emo) that I blasted on my MP3, & just when I begun to appreciate that quietness, there was this weird guy that came onto the train, & started chanting some funny prayer REALLY loudly.
I promise I could've strangled him for disrupting that peacefulness.

What, a Sunday.

2007-11-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO LE FRÈRE PLUS ÂGÉ! :D

I can't believe how time flies, in just a blink of an eye another year's gone, & on this special day of yours I just want to thank you for all that you've done, for believing in me, for the endless support, for your patience, for listening when I felt like shit, for all the breakfast treats, for always buying the happy meal for me (heehee), for letting me vent on you when I felt like I was going to break, for putting up with my occasional childish outbursts, for keeping me from free-falling through life, & if it weren't for you right now I'd still be the same Stacy one year ago.

It still amazes me, everytime I think about how that one word I accidentally blurted out changed my life from the inside out.

20 years down the road, Sylvia would playfully hit Joaquin on the shoulder & call him, "korkor".

2007-11-09T23:26:00.000-08:00

Here's 112 pictures, for you to have a Peepshow, of what we got up to.

...Yes, 112 pictures.

Fiona (:

The husband & the wife, hahah.

Meiqi (:

As you can see, while all of them were getting wet...

I was the only one who remained on shore & kept dry (:
(Okay shut up this picture only ended up this way because I got fed up of the sun shining in my eyes so I decided to just do this.)

Josephine getting washed away by the waves, LOL.

I captured her stupidity.

Niegel & Shafiq

Sihao was our human "fan" & hahah yes he totally rocked.

Desmond & Cheewah

"Eh you don't know how to smile ah,"

"That's better!" (:

Caught in the act!

Desmond, Shafiq, Larry, Cheewah, Jinhui, Niegel

Josephine (:

Karim! :D

I was laughing so hard at this picture, why are all of them crowding around the pit?
It's like all of them found fire starting really amusing, hahah.

They were trying to get poor Zhengxian into the water, hahah.

I like this picture (:

Fall Suhaidi, fall (:

While Iskandar & Zakir were engrossed in their PSP,

We were busy BBQ-ing for everyone,

& the guys were having their fun.

Jinhui & Niegel

Hahah I really don't know what Isakandar was doing.

Karim (:

Fighting horses! (:

Teehee!

I think Fiona would make a really good mother in the future.

Mr Chew's son & best friend.

I thought Niegel looked rather...

Suave, HAHAH.

Karim is totally molesting Jinhui -.-

Iskandar, Zakir, Karim (:

The guys, as you can see.

Iskandar & Karim

Cheewah & Zakir

How we ended off our BBQ...

Hahah I totally threatened Karim by saying that I'll show this picture to Mr James.

Karim (:
(Okay I know my hair was in such a horrible state.)

Iskandar (:

My favourite boys (:

Cheewah's the Man, hahah.

HAHAH Niegel (:

The freaking bicycle at the back was so distracting.

Niegel & Cheewah

3e4'07 (:

2007-11-08T23:58:00.000-08:00

The sun, sand, & sea, accompanied with plenty of laughter, friends, food, & a camera.

You people won't believe how long we took to get the fire started.
It was rather pathetic, we actually used up one whole box of fire starters.

I emphasize, one whole box!

After the first round of BBQ, some of them decided to extinguish & start the fire all over again, & without them knowing another box of fire starters was gone.

& no, I really have no idea why they wanted to extinguish the fire.

OKAY OKAY I promise le' pictures would be uploaded soon.

2007-11-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

OKAY OKAY STOP SMACKING ME HERE ARE THE PICTURES.

GIFTS Association 10th Anniversary D&D

He's the retarded guy that bully little kids!

Okay find me.

If you're,

Wondering what,

They're doing...

Drop dead gorgeous. (Heehee!)

Christmas outreach meeting

Hahah yes we were actually camwhoring during the meeting, teehee.
& if you thought that was bad...

Look at John & Ben, engrossed in their game.

Die Ben, dieeeee. -pokepoke-

Heehee I see Tabbi in the middle.

Okay & then I decided to just sleep on Tabbi's lap.

Pictures from the Class BBQ today would be uploaded soon.
(Psst, we took over 180 pictures in 6 hours!)

2007-11-06T23:36:00.000-08:00

Fiona: Do you know that when I got into my blog I got the shock of my life, I was like, "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BLOG?!"

Sometimes Fiona's reaction to things make me wanna go, ROFLMAO.

2007-11-06T17:59:00.000-08:00

Let's get the ball rolling.

Point 1: "It's not like I've never tried."
Tried? Do enlighten me & tell me how you've tried.
Oh wait, you tried by feigning ignorance.
Wow huh, but honestly I think Fiona & I were the one who were trying to find ways to compromise, & like I've said, it takes 2 hands to clap.
So if you can't be bothered, I don't think that we should care either (:

Point 2: "Everything that you 2 do, I can't join in."
You already said, "can't".
Don't make it sound like we're cutting you out of everything, we would've been glad to have you around, but you, CAN'T.

Point 3: "It's easy for you to say, you're not the one being left out."
Mind you, no one was leaving anybody out.
Just because you CAN'T be around, does that mean that I have to stop hanging out/having fun with Fiona?
I don't think so, but if you choose to take it that way, so be it.

Point 4: "You're not me, don't try to act like you know what I feel/think."
I'm obviously not you, I may not know what you feel/think, & I'm not even trying to act, I don't think there's a need for me to know anything anyway, because all of your actions are screaming that you want us off your back.
So here you have it.

Point 5: "I'm always the one going down for you guys."
Hello, BUT IT'S NOT LIKE WE HELD A GUN TO YOUR HEAD OR SOMETHING, if you didn't want to come all the way over we wouldn't force you.
Moreover, you were always the one saying that you wanted to come because you "missed Jinhui/Meiqi/Karim/Iskandar/Whoever & wanted to see them."

Point 6: "You guys never bothered to come over to look for me."
Sure, I may not have been to your area for you, BUT I'M SURE FIONA HAS.
If you're going to give me that crap about how you're always the one making the effort to come over to the Northern side of Singapore, please refer to point 5.

Point 7: "Catch in like what, 3 - 4 hours? How much could you possibly tell me in that 3 - 4 hours?"
Both Fiona & I have got the whole day for us to say everything, it's just that you CAN'T stay.
The 3 - 4 hours is better than nothing at all, & since you seem to want that few hours to become nothing, by all means, go ahead.

Point 8: "So am I supposed to act enthusiastic, when I already know the outcome?"
There's no need to load up on the Nitrogen.
Outcome? Which outcome?
Oh wait I think I remember it now, it was supposed to be a rather happy outcome but when we tried to reach for you, you refused to cooperate so now everything's really screwed up ):

Aww, what a sad outcome ):

Point 9: "Why don't you try being me?"
Erm, no thanks, I think I'll pass.

Point 10: "Thank God I fucking left Canberra."
Yeah, now I guess we're glad that you fucking left Canberra too.

(:

I probably came of a little bit too mean but who cares, things could've been much nastier.

It's funny but I don't feel a thing.
If this were to happen in the past, I'd definitely be brooding over it.
Maybe it's because I've gotten used to it, or maybe I'm numbed,

Or maybe I just don't care.

[edit]
Wow, Fiona seems really darn pissed.
I haven't seen her mad in such a long time, & say really she's rather hot when she's mad.
HAHAH!

http://fnwq.blogspot.com (:

我已经把 Fiona 的底摸得清清楚楚了 :D

-.- Okay inside joke.
[/edit]

2007-11-05T23:59:00.000-08:00

So I'm taking these pills, for to fill up my soul
& I'm drinking them down, with cheap alcohol
You'd be inclined to be mine for the taking
& part of this terrible mess that I'm making

But you, you're the catalyst
I went past the superficial, broke through everything that was standing in my way, refused to believe what the others said, managed to unlock your heart, & gave up everything that I had.

The regrets are still there, because there are many things I've never done for you.

But for the everything else that I did, you were worth it.

It's near ridiculous, because everything seems to remind me of you.
I've tried to fight it, but no matter how hard I try, it always seems to get it's way, & I feel so helpless & feeble, because I'm letting the pain attack my heart over & over again.

It's not because I'm weak, it's because this is enough to make even the strongest soul, crumble.

Before you know it I'll be gone,
But hold on, my love goes on.

2007-11-05T09:53:00.000-08:00

Juice 9th Anniversary - Go Robo Electro, followed by Audiojack @ Zouk on 09 November 2007

Sirens @ Zouk on 10 November 2007

Unleash @ Attica on 13 November 2007

Stephane Pompougnac @ Zouk on 16 November 2007

One with Aldrin @ Zouk, Stephane Pompougnac one-off party @ Velvet Underground on 17 November 2007

Traffic @ Plush on 22 November 2007

Here's probably about all that you people want!

2007-11-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

L.A lights, never shine quite as bright as in the movies.

I'm just glad that I still have the people who genuinely care around me, when the going gets tough.

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO ALASTER KOH! :D

2007-11-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

It's raining so heavily here, I can't even see Sembawang.

I really need to catch up on my sleep, I am throughly drained of my energy, but the big cup of iced mocha I had at the Coffee Club just now is keeping me awake /:

Went to Marina Square for dinner with Ruth, Edmund, & John, it was really nice to just sit there & listen to them ramble on about random stuffs like Mr Brown (:

Ran into Shaojun, Youming, & Dezhong at City Hall.
Bumped into Gabriel at Sembawang MRT.
Saw David Goh on 962.

Talk about coincidences.

Where's Fiona.
I want to play Minesweeper!

2007-11-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

I am so tired I can hear my bed calling my name.

We watched Army Daze, to Dodgeball, then to Spongebob Squarepants (hahah), after that Music & Lyrics, & finally AVP.

Army Daze was, so, freaking, funny.
Apparently I had underestimated the power of local films...

All of us went for breakfast at 6-!%$*^#?-AM.
I was telling Pris that if today was a typical Saturday, I'd be sleeping like a log -.-

I was trying to catch some sleep while the guys played street soccer, & I realised that YingYan was actually cross stiching.
I was like "what the hell YingYan you must be nuts you're actually cross stitching at 7.30 AM!!!!!!!!!!"

& then me, being me, eventually fell asleep while listening to WenKai share about his firefighting stories.

When I opened up my eyes, I glanced downwards, & YingYan was still cross-stitching (!)
Deep inside I went berserk because I couldn't believe that someone could have SO much patience.

Oh my gosh I admire such people -.-
I would never have such patience to sit down & do such things.

If one day I decide to cross-stitch, you'll know something is horribly wrong.

Left for home after another round of breakfast (hahah) & my gooooooooodness the MRT was so freaking crowded.

Me: Where the hell are these people going on a freaking Saturday morning, instead of lazing in bed.

Fratello più anziano (hahah that looked rather funny) said nothing, but gave me a look that TOTALLY said: "Not everyone in this world is like you."

Bloody bastard.

2007-11-02T02:28:00.000-07:00

I still want to run to you.

):

2007-11-01T23:24:00.000-07:00

I love Feee-Oh-Nah.

I promise I had such fun, going onto Friendster, laughing at ugly people with make up so thick that we could literally stick our fingers through, & with photo captions like, "ue are myye priince,, iie lurbbe ue sh0 much" & blah blah blah you know what I mean.

Forgive me for being such a bitch, sometimes I really can't help it...

& oh, I stumbled upon a particular picture that was taken in Parklane's toilet, & I decided to just randomly mention it to Fiona,

FIONA;FNWQ says:
OMG , is parklane lehhhhh . i miss gabby .
- ★ Stacy. FKJ; Where love is more than just your name, says:
i miss howard too ): don't worry you're not the only person in this world missing their ex boyfriend.

Sigh ):

2007-11-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

I still feel like shit, if not, even worst.

Sneaked out to Sunshine's place yesterday, was sitting at the poolside talking trash together with Gwen & Elvin (Alvin?), the conversation was getting rather monotonous & I was getting bored, so despite the stupid flu, I decided to do something crazy.

I jumped into the pool (!!) in my t-shirt & jeans.

& 5 seconds after being in the pool, I realised that I had no extra clothes with me.

Sigh... The things that I get myself into.

So my stupidity left me with no choice, I had to go upstairs & borrow Sunshine's clothes, which were, unsurprisingly, humongous.

& it's really nice to have somebody to make a big fuss over you & tuck you into bed when you're feeling all groggy & sick...

Okay shit I must stop dwelling on it.

I hope I'd feel better by tomorrow, I don't want to miss the movie marathon, & today is already Thursday, thanks to the flu bug I haven't got a chance to go out shopping for my dress...

2007-10-31T16:58:00.000-07:00

I can feel the flu bug literally attacking me.

I really don't want to fall sick, because my weekends are now jammed packed, & I'm serious about it when I say, Jammed Packed.
I wonder what's wrong with me, I always seem to fall sick at all the wrong times.

I feel like shit, this is so irritating ):

2007-10-30T16:59:00.000-07:00

FIONA;FNWQ says:
i feel like crying leh . but i am gg out later . cnt cry .
- ★ Stacy. FKJ; Where love is more than just your name, says:
OMG NO YOU CANNOT CRY
FIONA;FNWQ says:
of cos i cnt
- ★ Stacy. FKJ; Where love is more than just your name, says:
you can only cry when i'm around because I'M the ONLY one that can make you stop crying,
FIONA;FNWQ says:
LOL . HAHAHA
- ★ Stacy. FKJ; Where love is more than just your name, says:
& that's by threatening to throw my shoe or something in your face.
FIONA;FNWQ says:
wht , dont threaten me .
- ★ Stacy. FKJ; Where love is more than just your name, says:
LOL
- ★ Stacy. FKJ; Where love is more than just your name, says:
hahah it's okay you can cry, you'll just end up looking like a goldfish when you go out HAHAH
Have I ever said just how much I love Fiona?

I think I'm feeling better now, at least I'm not like, hyperventilating or something.
But still, thanks to the person who had pressed the button in the lift to the 7th floor, my life, is, over.

SO, I actually got up for school.
I had originally intended to give Fiona a wake up holler, but when my alarm went off at 6.45, I realised that I forgot her number (hahah).

Mr Oon was explaining to us the turning effect of forces today during Physics, & he drew a see-saw on the whiteboard in an attempt to get the concept to our heads.
So he drew a really skinny stickman on the right side of the see-saw, & I'm sure that all of us know that stickmen are all supposed to look like sticks, however Mr Oon proceeded to draw this really huge & fat stickman on the left of the see-saw, saying something like "potential sumo wrestler in Singapore", & when he was done with it he asked us: "So class, can you tell me what will happen to the see-saw after this sumo wrestler sits on it?"

Somebody in the class said, "The see-saw will break."

Teehee!

Fiona & I both went through SO much just to get out asses out of school, & you won't believe it, because I can't even bring myself to believe it, but Chemistry finished in less than an hour, so everyone was released early.

!!!!!! Blah.

Yay I like Mr Oon.

Moment of a force (or torque) is the product of the force & the perpendicular distance from the line of action of the force to the pivot.

When an object is in equilibrium, the sum of clockwise moments about any point is equal to the sun of anti-clockwise moments about the same point.

Hahah I think I'm just plain weird because I don't think anyone else would bother to type all of that out.

2007-10-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

OKAY THIS IS IT MY LIFE IS SO OVER STACY YOU !%$*?^#!?@ IDIOT YOU SHOULD JUST BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST A TREE & DIE.

WHYYYY THE 7TH FLOOR OF ALL PLACES.

T.T

2007-10-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am feeling very upset now because I can't find my Westlife Face to Face CD.

Le frère plus âgé & I have been going back in time, digging for the 90's music & I really like the old school songs (:

I can't believe it, it's The Holidays & I'm actually returning back to school tomorrow for extra lessons.
The thought of having to sit in class for 2 straight hours, going through Chemistry, absolutely, sucks.

& damn it I seriously need to go shopping for something decent to wear to this Saturday's D&D.

This is crazy, & it's an emergency. I really need to party.

(Hahah it rhymes)

2007-10-28T23:32:00.000-07:00

Enjoyed ice cream on a cold rainy day, but felt all warm inside.
It was all wrong, & I wasn't supposed to, but I found myself wondering why I had willingly given up everything for you.

& a peck on my cheek had caught me off guard.

It's not getting to me, though.
Your actions could mean nothing at all, & I don't have to mean a thing to you.

Among all the mess, & all that we've shared, nothing has ever felt so, innocent.

2007-10-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

"If you want to have fun, just give me a call, I'll take you out. But make sure you stay with me otherwise my friends are gonna get your ass drunk & the next morning you'll wake up butt-naked."

Note: get your ass drunk.

So funny, I never knew my ass could get, drunk!

Met le frère plus âgé for breakfast today, had such a hard time getting out of the damned bed.

Oh Children's Cell was nuts, Victoria still thinks that there's something going on between me & le frère plus âgé, which makes, no, sense, because how could I be in love with my older brother.
& when all the kids took out their bibles, Victoria took out a PDA.

...A FREAKING PDA!
& myyyy goodness she's only 11 this year!
Kids nowadays /:

My voice is so darn sexy now, all thanks to the junk I've been downing lately.
Lunch really didn't make things any better & now I'm seriously regretting it because my throat feels really uncomfortable.

Maybe the gloomy weather did dampen my mood by that little bit, but that's okay, it's not the first time anyway.

2007-10-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

Benson Chew (the Blockhead) just sent his proof on entry for his O's into the washing machine!

Anyway, I was kind of reluctant to meet Fiona up today because my bed felt, so, comfortable.

It's back to Parklane again, feels like a million years since I've stepped into that place (actually the last time was just 2 weeks ago), today my heels half killed my feets, & as if that wasn't enough, for that few hours I had to try so hard to pretend that everything's okay, when all I felt like doing was just to curl up in a quiet little corner.

You weren't looking at me, but sensing, & seeing the pain in your eyes, it totally tore me apart.
I had wished,

That you would let me be there.

2007-10-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

Say really, it's not like I've never tried to find ways to compromise, it takes 2 hands to clap & since you refused to cooperate, don't put the blame on me when things don't turn out your way.

Sure, I can put up with you & your rubbish when I'm feeling nice, but still, you should know that my level of tolerance is only, that much.

2007-10-26T15:33:00.000-07:00

Today's the day, I pray that we'll make it through
Make it through the fall, make it through it all

Before I could even promise myself not to cry, the tears already came like a tap that refused to shut.

It sucks to be standing still & watching someone you've known for so long being forced to walk away.
I wished I was able to do something about it, because I really don't want them to go.
I can't imagine what's life without them, & sure, the fact that next year I get to walk into 4E4 & see the same familiar faces is comforting, but I know I'll have the feeling that something's missing because they're just not there.

Would you still remember all the times that we've shared for these 3 years?
Maybe the reason why it's so difficult for me to say goodbye is because I've become so used to having the both of you around, always talking nonsense & making a big fool out of yourselves.
It sucks to see the both of you go, but I promise I'll be down for you for whatever.

One last hug exchanged & I forced myself to say the word, "goodbye".

2007-10-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

Arrived in school late (again), I think Mr James is sick of seeing my face every morning, but that's not the point, & as I was saying, I arrived in school late, but I made in just in time to hear this announcement made by Mdm Lim.

Mdm Lim: I know the exams are over & most of you have got nothing to do in class, so I encourage all of you to join this competition of making scarecrows.

...Scarecrows?!

Hahah what the hell.

Anyway, the class attendance today was pathetic, & I mean, Pathetic.
Meiqi & I ended up photowhoring during Chinese lesson, pictures would be uploaded soon because Photobucket is currently being a bitch.

I've been feeling so restless & I don't know why, maybe it's because of the fact that tomorrow would be my last day with some of the classmates that I've spent a year, some three straight years, with.
I don't want to dwell on this subject, because I know that life still goes on no matter what, but sometimes I really wished that I wasn't so weak & feebly when it comes to saying goodbye.

Make this ride as fast as I can
Tonight this road home feels a little longer
I hope you know that you were my best friend
Tonight I said goodbye, but I should've said more
Thanks for the best time of my life

Come home, now that you're gone
I finally realised that you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
I'm wishing that you weren't a part of my past

Emptiness swallows this town
From now on I will be alone for good
Will you remember my name?
I'm hoping that I'll hear from you soon
Thank you for everything

Come home, now that you're gone
I finally realised that you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
So please don't be a part of my past

For the past hour I've been playing this song over & over again, & I really don't want, to cry.

2007-10-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

I wanna watch Lion King!

This song really tugged at my heartstrings.

I'll never let you go
So, never let me go
I will be your journey
& you will be, my road
Down the stormy path
Love will never, come to pass
It will be an anchor
Although the winds may blow

& through the depths of high & low
Wherever you will go, I'll follow
To the end, back again, you know

Won't let you fall, fall out of love
Cos together we'll be holding on
Cos, all we have is us
Won't let you go, go away again
Because life don't mean, nothing at all
If I don't have your love

I will dry your tears
Take away your fears
Let me be your shelter
Your heart is safe in here
So beautiful & pure
There's nothing I would not endure
Oh, love has got me blinded
I see it all so clear

& through the depths of high & low
Wherever you will go, I'll follow
To the end, back again, you know

Won't let you fall, fall out of love
Cos together we'll be holding on
Cos, all we have is us
Won't let you go, go away again
Because life don't mean, nothing at all
If I don't have your love

I'm down for you for whatever
Anything you're going through
What's mine is yours
Every little thing, I got you
Even when winds will change
Come smashing down & crashing on you

Won't let you fall, fall out of love
Cos together we'll be holding on
Cos, all we have is us
Won't let you go, go away again
Because life don't mean, nothing at all
If I don't have your love

Don't have your love, oh
Don't have your love, no

I'll never let you go, let you go
Let you fall, let you fall, fall out of love